Its one in the morning and sleep eludes me..I have studied I have watched TV for a while and now here I am doing what I do best... three days ago the country of Haiti came to a stand still - maybe thats the reason am still awake now - just watching CNN live seeing Hatians in the streets in the still of the night settign up camp for the night due to the terrible earthquake that struck three days ago.A video of a woman screaming "The world is comign to an end the world is coming to an end" when the earthquake hit rings in my head.The image of a 15day old baby being treated for head injuries lingers in my mind.A man snatching food supplies from a woman carrying a baby is still rife in my memory...bodies upon bodies lining the streets of Paut-au-Prince... it feels watching a movie on big screen you wish you hadnt paid to watch.The only sad thing is that this is reality...So many questions have been racing through my mind since Tuesday.Some of them I have posed them to God the rest are just there hoping for an answer from somwhere or someone...One I thoought there is all this high tech equipement that geographers and scientists use to see changes in the moon and earth movements and somehow be able to see disasters such as these coming??or are there people kickin themselves in the shins right now for not takign any action??Second why Haiti - they say its one of the pooorest oops I meant it is THE poorest and most illiterate country in the Western Hemisphere or so it is said..to go through a disaster of this magnitude where people survive on a dollar or so a day is just licking their wound..Third what next?the capital city was destroyed and thats what houses I mean everything from banks to the parliament well palace..to schools to the university to the UN offices I mean does this mean rebuilding almost a nation again?Gosh I have so many questions..I was telling somone yesterday gosh I wish I could have the means to be on the ground right now in Haiti handing out food , treating the wounded just being there for them offering hugs smiles just that assurance that even though its bleak right now joy will cometh in the morning...These are people who have settled for simple pleasures in life who have learnt not to expect more than what is available who have seen so much hardship in their time this just takes the cake.Here are some stats from a website unemplyement rate - 80%.It has no public transportation system.About 60 % of the population is below 25 can you imagine that - so these are young brilliant minds.To think of the extent of this catastrophe is unimaginable.wow let me stop here for now but there is still so much on this issue I need to revist.On a more lighter note i just had my first karaoke session - I loved loved it!!I did a rendition of Madonna - La isla bonita - rocked the house down and also did whitney houston - how will i know with Muthoni am so proud of her - she faced her fears - stage fright!!through the window...

End of a Diva era

Today I received such heart wrenching news.One of the sweetest souls I have come to know in America passed away after 32 years of a battle with multiple sclerosis bravely borne.Debbie Obrien was and always will be my diva my big sister and the lady who always put a smile on my face when I went to visit.To describe Debbie in words is too hard a task but all I can say is am glad our paths crossed - you know those people you meet only a few times in your life time but their footprints remain on your heart for a lifetime.Gosh she brought such joy to the family with her radiant smile but better still her constant glow..even when I would visit her after the chemo had wore he down she would always have a smile - smiling through the storm as my sister calls it and had something nice to say about her doctors her nurses .Life was so beautiful in Debbies eyes - but better yet she saw life through the eyes of her amazing six year old son - Peter - such pride she had when she talked about her two boys - Peter and handsome Steve.I call Peter my "banana boy" he totally loves bananas.Maybe one day when you are old enough Pete I willl tell you tales of how beautiful your mother was on the inside and the out too.How she loved when we would go to the thrift store and spend hours going through the isles.Better yet Pete I will tell you how much joy you brought to her life everyday - from the day you begun pre school and she was there waiting to pick you when you got home , and how stubborn you were when she picked out your clothes and you threw tantrums...she loved her boys so much and her husbad steve -My rock she would call him- he was by her side - 23 years of marriage - he saw her from the blonde days of her youth to the tough days of chemo and was with her to the last moment where he said "It was like falling in love with her all over again." Debbie I will miss terribly but I know that I know you are at peace...Loving and missing you from down here.Your "Kenyan girlfriend."
Oh here is a link that was in the daily newspaper http://www.legacy.com/SalemNews/Obituaries.asp?Page=Notice&PersonID=137923243

The most exciting significant and challenging relationship of all is the one you have with yourself and if you can find someone to love the you you love, well thats just fabulous...

Are we square??

So today I went last minute shopping and by last minute I mean exactly that for christmas things here and there with my school study buddy.The malls were so packed we mainly were in the clothing stores as she is leaving for Uganda soon hence she needs the sphagetti strap tops etc...So anyway as we were picking out and trying different clothes its amazign how our personaliies were being revealed by the type of clothes that we chose...Hers were more flashy muti coloured and I as usual - am saying usual coz this not the first time am shopping with someone and I end up going for either black or white coloured clothes yeah I know yawn yawn...thats me right there - the more conservative laid back not too calling attire.So anyway my friend got so fed up with me she was like oh my goodness Penny why are you so square??and I go like huh???she is like you need to be flexible in yoru choice...hey trust me everyoen in my family esp my mum and my sister know me and shopping especially for clothes - I am the worst - put me in a book store and I will be the best company...So anyway her statement was really interesting - why am I so square so predictable so unchanging....so my friend was like at least with you pickign black and white it shows my personality am either here or here no in betweens..But later i got to thinking wow a square....so rigid so firm can only go so far with a square...but to think of being described as a circle well wow with a circle its endless its flexible a circle hs breathing space - am thinking abstarctly now work with me here...so thats me the square...what are you ??

She just did not say that

Ok so every Tuesday I volunteer at Beverly Hospital in the endo unit- and oh they surprised me the other day with a barnes and noble gift card - which I am so excited about - I love reading - just getting through to the end of the book is my biggest challenge lol.But hey schools out now so I will have more time on my hands,Speakign of school this semester grades really suck I have Bs can you imagine that - Bs!!!but hey it was such a great semseter in terms of the learnign experience..I was not in class just to get the A grade - wow I can conjugate Spanish verbs - actually I was driving the other day and saw a Spanish billboard and was able to translate the whole thing I was so proud of my Spanish class.Oh and then in my abnormal psych class I have garnered a ton of info on diagnoses from bipolar to schizophrenia to paranoia wow i think its a class i can retake....so anyway thats wnough about that.Oh so what was I saying - as usual I divert again so yes volunteering at Beverly hospital.Oh yeah so the other day I was doing my usual rounds I hear one of the nurses takign a health history and she asks the patient , "Any cultural and / religious affiliations we need to be aware of before we do the procedure?" and the lady goes like ,"Oh am an atheist."The nurse even had to restate the question oh thats not what I mean I ,ean in terms of food preferences to culture etc...so anyway the patients answer really threw me off.Not only is it two days to the birth of the saviour but this woman does not believe in his father or the Holy trinity for that matter.I dont know what feelings I felt as I walked away from this ladys bed was it anger? desbelief? sadness that somene ...well people out there do not beleive that there is a God and He exists??Or could the lady have gone through a situation in her life that made her doubt the existience of the father..wow to not beleive in God now that I think about it has such a domino effect.It also implies lack of faith , lack of hope but most important not experiencing the love of the father...gosh that love that He sent His only son that every day that I live I know whose I live for whose I serve and wher I find my being and everlasting life.Gosh the joy from knowing that his love is unconditional unwavering ..oh my and to hear the lady say I am an atheist ripped my heart out...and as usual I run to my comfort zone simplyme-queenpen.blogspot.com for refuge.

Fun at white mountains

So this weekend I was up in white mountains with a group of friends
we had such a lovely time - and I am the self declared taboo champion he hehe - thats vanity at its highest.No but seriously my arm is still sore from all the falling - we were all firat time skiiers well I was and the instructor was so crazy...imagine falling and he is there yelling , "Are you chickening out??you chicken???and poof there you go on the floor and then he refuses to help you up can you imagine it felt like we were in some Iraq boot camp training...but hey he made the xperience memorable...But wow it was so great we were 18 of us - can you imagine that it was some mini big brother goin on....here are some pics to pore over...

Whats the difference?

Yeah so whats the difference between blanco y negro..hey how will you know I am taking a Spanish class.So anyhu whats the difference between black or white??does my skin colour determine who I am on the inside??When the singer Pink was asked how she came up with the name Pink she said "hey whether your black or white it dont matter we all pink on the inside." There was a documentary on NPR a few days ago about the Spanish population thats is infiltrating all corners of America.Before it was Oh ok yeah El Paso, Texas is where you go if you looking for some Quesadillas or Tacos but now when you make a call am sure in a year or so it will be "press one for Spanish two for English." So anyway the main topic of discussion was so what are the Spanish are they black or they white or neither??and is Spanish becoming the new minorty.In my opinion I think Spaniards are becoming the new majority.And trust me inititally I used to hear Spain..images of dancing the Marengue and riding a boat on the Rio came to mind but wow the diversity of the Spanish speakign world is immense - Puerto Ricans , Dominicans , Hondurans , Argentina..its endless and guess where they have found their melting pot - the land of milk and honey - America!!!....The other day at the bank some teller was having a heck of a hard time explaining the opening of a bank account and the lady responds in Spanish and I hear the teller say "Sorry I do not speak Spanish"so what is America or Americans going to do with the rising Spanish population...will we choose to still consider this ethnicity a minority and not account for its diversity or will we assimilate the culture and begin wearing sombreros to work...ok am drifting yet again from my mainpoint what was it???oh so whats the difference if am black white ..oh I know what brouught me here yes today someone said something and it got me thinking mmmh???they must have been having a Freudian moment it was something to the extent "Same difference between nigger and negro." Wow as much as I hate to admit and I really do not think the word negro conjures up any emotions in me of slavery or what not that phrase there I was surprised how hard it hit home...For this person in there oWn little mind still has the association of the word nigger with someone or something ( who knows) thats below the ground they walk on.Whether they say nigger or negro to them it all means the same thing the online dictionary I quote "a member of a humankind native to Africa classified according to physical features - sometimes offensive???" end quote...I think they need to get rid of the last part sometimes offensive and paraphrase it to read previously offensive.I mean in this day and age well maybe its coz I was raised in a family that had no glass ceileings especially owing to teh fact that we are three girls and one boy - a family that understood that black or white its whats on the inside that counts.I think its time that we reach that point in our personal and proffesional lives where we look at the contents and not the container before we speak before we label and more so before we draw conclusions...

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. .."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.
Martin Luther King Jnr.

The end of an era

Wow I have just received such heart renching news I think I am still reeling in shock...wow...after three years of getting to know one of the best friends I will ever have in this lifetime I have just found out she is leaving the country "for now" as she put it....I have mixed emotions I kind of expected it but when the reality hits home....when its here in my face is when I have stopped and begun reminiscing on all the good times we had ...wow Priscilla and I have seen the valleys and the mountains together...From gossiping in the hallways at Lhcc to Orlando madness to Ellie Wellie to Dexter,Subs at Quiznos on Sunday, wine on New Years dancing to Beyonce in pyjams..omg my eyes are already clouding up..Prisc has seen me grow emotionally and (physically) I have seen her in her worst of days when things in life did not make sense to her, she walked me through tough relationships gosh this has been my girl my person in America.You know that one person who has your back no matter what no matter when oh gosh this will be a change...The beauty of it all is I know she is going for gold her future is too bright she is one of those birds Maya Angelou says that just cant be caged.Wow I will miss you chica....

In a heartbeat

A couple of days ago ...oh wait Happy Thanksgiving!!!Its the turkey day again..ok back to that in a while.So anyway a couple of days ago I was watching Dancing with the Stars - and the final perfomers I have watched them grow over the season and trust me - it has been a very long season - about three months straight....So anyhu Mya was constantly brilliant over the season - week after week she showcased not only her talent but stopped at nothing to pull the strings in her performances getting ten out of ten.So anyhu in comes the final round and there she is in the top two - it was either her or some other guy to win and eventualy it went to the other guy.Just like that in a heartbeat the whole season of practice and training and even more training ended just like that in less that five seconds she came in second place....Then I got some bad news from a friend of mine - who has had the year from hell I can say on Tuesday - more bad news for her.... just when the road map was beginning to take shape in a heartbeat it all came crashing down again.So the moral of my little moment is it only takes a heartbeat for the course of life to change.In a heartbeat things can go from bad to worse.In a heartbeat you can scratch that ticket and win a million bucks.In a heartbeat , a word is said or an action taken that turns the table upside down.I think life is made of mini heartbeats - I think I have written about this before , that tiny moment that upsets or calms the ship...So anyhu its the festive season again - tommorrow is Black Friday and I was htinking to myslef mmmh It would be fun for a change to go for one of thse gold rush 4 a.m shopping spress - too bad am working until 9 by the time I get there all the good stuff will have gone.So on another note its time to be thankful gosh where do I begin even with where or how I am thankful.First and most important to the reason for my being the big G up there -He has watched over and guided me this year gosh opened doors in my personal spiritual and financial life - I am mega grateful that I know whose I am.I am thankful for the gift of love this year - has moved me to greater heights and someone to share it with, family - I love my family to pieces - we have the like the most drama in the house and yet we laugh it all of over a glass of wine,friendship,health ,being able to have a listening ear it has just been a great year - and 2010 looks even more promising!!!

The earth has ears...

Oh my goodness the theorist of the Nursing programme at my school is Martha Rodgers who based her principle on nurse client relationship and the energy that circulates in the earth.In short the earth has a set amount of energy - that is flowing from person to person from earth to person and person to earth - am I loosing you work with me here...What you put out there is what the earth and other people feed off and it what you get in return...ok in connecyion to that..I have the best proffesor for my research class - she is always expounding on the Rogers theory of energy and it makes so much sense to me after today.Loris version is that the earth actually "hears" and responds to our demands there are so many suggestions she throws out there that have worked e.g writing what you want in bold and stickign it on your wall - if its that ninety you want on the next exam write out a huge fat 90 on a manilla card , she tells us of the author of the chicken soup series - the year before he wrote his first book he wrote out a huge dummy check to himself for 1 million and stuck it on his desk - the next year his Chicken soup for the soul sold 900,000 worth.Before an exam Lori tells us write even on you hand in small print the grade you want to achieve whether its a C or an A write it out on your wrist.So where am going with this is that your surroundings hear and see everything that your projecting you will want your business to succeed , instead of saying gosh what if my business fails - the earth hears business and fail in one sentence, you could be setting yourself up for disaster.You want to pass that exam say I want to get an A in that exam avoid statements such as what if I flunk that exam?the earth will pick up on the exam and fail and boom....
So anyway back to me and today I really wanted an A on the spanish exam so i wrote a mini A on the palm of my hand and trust you me that A kept bbringing me back in focus when I was going astray in the exam .Actually it gave me so much confidence by the end of the exam I was sure I had doen well.So will let you know if Loris theory work sor its a bunch of bologne butreally I knwo its a fact - energy is all around us.Dont you feel when you are around certain people there is just so much good energy they are letting off you actually feel empowered when you are near them,.Then there are those people who when you are around you actually feel they are draining you - OMG this starts a whole new discussion right here.Yes so the world is a ball of SET energy there is no more energy that will be addedd and it will nto eb taken away whats there is there.We have to try and balance out our own energy to have more positive than negative energy around us - have I lost you today am getting all sci fi and stuff he he he

Crossroads...

It comes a time in all our lives
when we reach a point we have to choose
Yonder left to follow our ambitions - selfish to say the least
or yonder right of a promise and hope with the one that we love.
Torn between the two with time not on our side
we stand at the crossroads and have to decide.
But should they love us as they say they do
are they not bound by that same love to see us through??
They say love is a sacrifice
but in a sacrifice is it ever really fair
I stand at the crossroads I have to choose.

scehdule or programmed life???

So the other day as I was driving home for work I had a moment of deja Vu almost bringing my car to a screeching halt.So I look ahead and see the red brake lights of the train blinking...and sure enough a second later the train comes bounding down the tracks...I was like OMG this was the exact same place I was last week and the lights came on at this exact same time and the train came down the tracks...and it got me thinking how life here can get so programmed.I was thinking the other day its so easy to stalk someone coz you can easily track someones movements and schedules in this place even the same place I parked my car last Saturday is where it is now - creepy but true.We well let me say I hide under this mirage of "schedules" and work and school that life ceases to be life anyomre instead it becomes this huge chore that needs to be completed.What happened to the era of spontaienityand not knowing what tommorow will hold?And not knowing if the fetus is a boy or a girl?I know its good to plan and strategize but let life be like a river and go with the flow.....ok am dotting....Oh my globe trotting sister is in Namibia now with mummy am so happy for her she deserves it ova key not speaker at some event way to go girl!!!!!!!!!!!!

Commitophobia...

Aaagh am raving mad - and not only that I have insomnia - so where do I go when I have all the pent up emotions - I remeber mmmh I have a little world down here called a blog.So here I am at quarter to one on a Thursday morning....and tryign to figure out why some men have commitophobia syndrome....Yes thats what I want to call it.I was trying to play match maker two weeks ago -and it has backfired in my face all because men want to eat their cake and have it.A good lady the real home maker - the real deal - cooks cleans edcuated funny smart oH my the lsi t is endless and ready to have a pack of brats and settle down and here comes Mr X who I know has been looking for a wife since I met him two years ago.So I have a little E = mC 2 moment and try hook them up then suddenly Mr x starts feedign me all this krap oh you know for the next two years I am focusing on my engineering school and I may not be ready to give her what she wants and bl abla bla so i ask myself why are some men scared of commitmet.Wgen push coems to shove some men cannot either take the responsibility or the pressure or both - or is it justs selfishness.Haiya maybe thats the reason OMg light bulb light bulb coz to commit requires you giving up a part of you to someone else - being ready to shelve soem of your selfish ambitions as you adjust to someone elses desires.Or wait could it be fear?Are the commitophobics scared to give up the familiar life they knew of wham-bam-thank you maam - no heart breaks no promises no I will call you to see how your day is?either way as they say face your fears and they will dissapear Mr X could have at least even offered to meet My certain Ms Y - oh well another one bites the dust back to the drawing board .

Work Hard, Play hard and Love Hard - Sigmund Freud

Memoirs of a Geisha

Aagh thumbs up for Memoirs of a Geisha the book am reading on one of the top 20 Geisha - though she claims she was not - in Kyoto.Oh wow where do I even start with descrbing a Geisha and the extent to which her alluring charm extends.At first I thought well they ar just the Japanese version of an Amsterdam hooker but OMG am on page 108 of the book and am thinking mmmhh they not too bad after all....here is a link you can read more http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geisha but when and if you can I urge you to get the book and be tranported into the life of traditional Japan

East - West Coast Tour

So oneof these fine days right before my summer class ended Iwas sittign in class and thinking to myself hey summer has come and gone really fast and summer is not summer without me going out of state.So there I went straight to expedia.com and bought a return ticket to Carli a month ago - made a few phone calls - but do I say!!!and last week Monday I was lucky enough to be travesring the lands from the East to the West Coast.I got Virgin america which wa snot too bad - save for the AC that killed me softly and I got the darn aisle seat - thats the first thing I always look for when I get my boarding pass so 6 hours of staring at the screen flipping channels - oh they have very excellent in flight entertainment - very interactive - BUT...they only serve drinks free - everythign else you buy...can you imagine the nerve???6hours and all I get are liquids so I got there starving like crazy but was mad excited to see the LAX sign at th airport - it had been on my "Hve-to-sees list" for the longest while.so my "cousin" - in quotes coz am not really sure his connection with my m mum - oh well we family..and I drive dwon downtown L.A - very very beautiful - gosh Boston pales in comparison and i pass my other "to see" - The Staples Center - by now I was gaping like crazy...l
So I passed out as soon as we go thome - no wait this was after i had some cereal - being the bachelor he is that was all I could get my hungry stomach to eat...So anyway let me schem over things Wed met a friend I had not seen in eons - we went o to PRIMARY can you say PRIMARy school together - still has his gulley dimples - so he offerred to take the whole day off to take me round LA - we did the full tour - Hollywood sign , down Walk of Fame - saw all the stars names engraved on the path then Beverly hills yes like the real Beverly Hills - these mega houses its ridiculous - I think I have a pic or two I will put up.Walking down Beverly Hills was almost surreal esp Rodeo Drive where the "celebs" do all their shopping - there is this carefree atmosphere - you know the kind that money aint a thing the air is even a bit fresh - or is it me just being paranoid??then we went down Venic Beach which has wite sand - well kinda white - has nothign on the Tampa beach in Florida...then we did UCLA campus - saw the hospital where MJ was flown in immediately like the whole day I had to keep remindign myself Penny your in Carli it was an excellent experience.Thursday was chilled out - went to see my aunt Joyce after spending most of my day with my "cousins" traversing the lads from Bellflower to Azusa back to Bellflower - bangign deals with cars - so had dinner at Aunt Joyce little catchign up in short the trip was just that - short and sweet - and I love dit love di tlove dit.I was almost calling in sick for work - but I have done that a couple of times recently thanks to summer and all its plans and there are a few engagements I will be attending the next comign weekends before school opens soon.Speakign of which did I mentin school opens soon and as usual I am raring to go - the first semester my tuition is clear by the first day - yeah I know sad - lol one of my many challenges - but so far so good!!!

No excuses no apologies but am back!!!!!!!!

Ok so back to business...I have just seen somwhere it is good to dissapear for a while when you come back you always have a story to tell...So here I am gosh where do I begin - maybe with the most important story of my life since I was last here....I fell in love - yes return your jaw back up......well realized that I have been in love all this time with my best friend , soulmate and other half...It has been quite the journey from 2006 up until now he has walked me through my bad share of relationships , scolded me when I went astray and just been the voice of reason in my life for the past almost three years in September.So yes thats me - and its funny at first the regular cliche dating your best friend is disastrous made me hold back but trust me it has been so great - I mean its familiar territory we know each other inside out - even in the tone of a text I can tell his mood - yeah its that bad!!!
Ok other than that the music legendary MJ passed away - yes after half a century of touching peoples lives through the gift of music and dance he had a higher calling and left.Ummmmm what else what else guess this is it for today - as usual the first blogs after a while are always shallow but trust me I am back with a bang............and cupid so maybe the tone of my writing may change - somewhat - will see

Men = Cars

Okay so I got a new car which my best friend and I baptized "Rania" - Dennis you feel me??its a Honda Accord - I had some silly junk before that brought me such hell was falling apart like seriously - I felt like I was building Nissan a new car - I had to replace the convertor then the alternator get a new battery then what broke the camels back was last week the Meineke people tell me lady you are crazy driving that car its shaft is half out - apparently that holds the wheel in place .Basically I have learnt so many parts of a car its ridiculous..so anyway Rania runs well I have no complaints...So anyway it was quite a hell of a time looking for a car and along the way I had a mini Eureka moment..Looking for a car is like looking for a man.At first when you set out you have all these ideal qualities in mind - actually I was bent on getting a Rav 4 at the beginning.The first time I was looking for a car I remember the first thing I rushed to was the radio - how loud are the speakers , then looking for a sun roof are there leather seats- was oblivious to the fact that the silly car had 140 k miles , the engine was collapsing I was focusing on superficial stuff!!!Questions such as how does the engine run , whats the mileage on thecar , is the check engine light on bla bla bla bla..The same applies with the quest for a man.Initially you have these fantasies of Mr perfect - cute dimples,6 pack,tall dark but as time wanes face value of a car is not enough.Metaphorically , we need to see how does that engine run - how good is this guys heart , whats the mileage on this car - has this guy been around the block one too many times?is the check engine light on - are there red flags we need to be looking at? so anyway yeah that was just a tit bit...oh yeah so I also moved to my new place in Salem - i love it so much though parkign is a such a problem - I already have a ticket and got towed today whats up with that???so yeah I love the witch city or rather I love the environment that I live - its so next to school and school is my joy and am glad to be away from Lowell - I honestly felt stagnated for a while..so am now in the witch city and its next to the water front and oh i love it!!

To Fear or not to Fear.....that is the question

Happy Happy new Year....its sounds cliche by now but just for kicks sake let me say it again Happy New Year!!!they were interviewing passer bys in New York this mornign with one simple question "Give me one word to describe 2008? soem of the responses - turbulent , crazy , hopeful bla bla bla....thethe list is endless..2008 for me I think was a year of discovery.I felt like a researcher on the History Channel - exploring avenues in my life , endevouring out of state - ok just to D.C - meeting new people but most important I was glad to be part of history being made on November 4th 2008...who can ever forget "On this day in this defining moment because of what we did, change has come to America." - Obama
On another different but related note I am sad to say that I THINK mark my words THINK that the prevailing feeling behind everyones head is a sense of fear.In 20 days Obama moves to White House though but there is just an impending feeling that is going unvoiced with regard to the general state of things in the country and in the globe as a whole.It does not help that the Gaza strip is making headlines again with the Palestinians up in arms against the Israelis.they begun their year with bloodshed and fighting prompting the international community to shift focus from Wall Street to Bulawayo in Zimbabwe to the Gaza strip.
aside from the political unrest abroad the constant reminder in the media everyday of the worsening economy - I was driving by Linens and Things in NH and I see Huge blowout sale - going out of business and I thought are you serious even Linens and things??From the auto makers to the mortgage situation - banks are holding on to assets that have negative equity , to job insecurity I can go on and on - which I know is sadly not a way to start my blogging year.But you know what we have to constantly remind ourselves Nothing and I repeat Nothing last forever.things may seem bleak up ahead but if we loose sight of where we are going and how we will get there is when the situation will get the best of us... They say tough times do not last but tough people do.Let us master our fear before it masters us and besides it is fear of the unknown - we do not know if we are living in the end times , we do not know how long the economic situation will last , we do not know if God is testing us , we do not know if the Obama administration will provide a quick fix but all we do know is it is always darkest before dawn.I was telling a good friend of mine the other day who has so much going on and is trying to make sense out of everything that something big is about to happen in her life she just doesnt know it yet.I have seen it happen to two people so close to my heart - things were so bad that hope was the only option and just when they were on their last breath of strength - the miracle came.With every situation in life God has to push you to your limit - so down that the only way to go is back up...so America and the world - God is not done with you yet . so I just checked my grades for last semester - I was so proud of myself coz for real I was so engrossed with mum and adis visit I did not fully exert myself in my books.Another exciting thing I have just received an update from One World Youth Project - am excited about the retreat in July - am pushing for California as a venue and what else is exciting is things are shaping up - the general direction that the NGO is taking is so exciting the possibilities are endless am so happy for Jess - the founder - she is such a go getter inspires me to get off my lazy butt...check out the website here http://www.oneworldyouthproject.org/..ok my shoulders hurt i need a massage asap...Its two in the morning going to catch a movie - The other Boleyn girl.....
Through the window..

Christmas in the Diaspora

So yesterday was the 25th ofiicial christmas day .A place I would love to have been is Manger square - Bethlehem - home of the site where Jesus was bon a couple of thousand years ago...But tsk tsk I was miles away in Seabrook NH - hadtaken one of the ladies I work with to spen time with her family.What amazed me the most was the manner in which to them chritmas is a time mainly to unwrap gifts and compare notes on who has got what.....Christmas in the diaspora is not what we as Kenyans have been brought up with.My rommate Mary brought me to this reaity yesterday desribing how she misses her kids and good ol family times over christmas nyam chom - the long drive to see cucu guka and cousins you have not seen the whoel year...Then I get to work later on in te day and my workmate tells me the exact same thing Peny can you imagine we are working on Christmas day - a lady with children and a huzzy....the sad reality is that life in the diaspora seems to offer material satisfaction to some extent but sadly there are things that life here snatches away - the laughter and joy of Christmas with family but most important rememberig that 2000 years ago in a lowly manger in Bethlehem a carpenters son was born to die and save the world...instead of spending so much time going round the malls shopping for gifts why dont we take that time to go to a cancer ward and hold a childs hand who is bald from chemo.Take time to say thank you Jesus coz you died I live, tell the ones you love how much you love them...
So we may be miles away from home but that should not stop us from just being thank ful for the smallthing we take for granted - that you are alive is blessing enough t see another year...so Kenyans out here hang in there hold on to your Christmas memories of days gone as memories keep us grounded and not forget where we are from......

Enough Mugabe Enough!!!!

Robert Gabriel Mugabe...Zimbabwe has had enough you have milked her dry you have milked her people dry enough is enough...Mugabe with the white man is what Hitler was with the Jews during the Holocaust.Am sure if you ask Mugabe who his mentor is he will tell you Adolf Hitler.The similarities are so similar - the most obvious is the famous mustache - look at Mugabe look at Hitler..then their Marxist beliefs , both did not have a father figure in their lives from an early age...Okay am straying from my point...I think its so unfair that I can write all this down while someone in Zim right now cannot even fathom what will happen to them should they even entertain any subservient thoughts not even talk about the government.
The statistics in Zim are alarming - the highest bank note right now is at 10 quintillion - I did not even know such a word existed...inflation is at 1 million percent is that right surely mathematically , morally and economically speaking??Mortality rate for men is at 37 for women is at 34!!!the lowest in the world..
The saddest is the cholera and hunger outbreak...a farmer I quote , "You should see what we eat in our homes," said Ethel Sibanda, 55. "I haven't eaten isitshwala (a thick porridge made from maize meal) for a long time now. My family and I have relied on wild fruit and kernels of the amarula tree. We last received maize in my area in November."..

Zimbabwe is crying out and we as the world are so busy solving our credit,auto,mortgage crises celebrating christmas - it is so unjust.Rwanda cried out during the genocide and the world kept on doing its thing - causing a 21st century African holocaust.....the International community needs to be mobilized in Zim...yes there are laws that avoid a country from infringing on another countries sovereign rights but just this once those laws need to be over looked...this is a humanitarian cause.. Mugabe needs to get out of his palace and look around him..people are falling like flies from hunger...so what can we do as individuals is my question??

"The only white man you can trust is a dead white man."
- Robert Mugabe

Emotional Roller Coaster

Gosh it has been ages since I was last here I have so much to say so much to write so many pictures to post I do not even know where to begin...Maybe I can begin by its December 22nd there are 8 days to the close of this year I rememeber last year at this time we were psyking up to go to Florida with Shingi and Prisc OMG and this year I am so bila any plot...watsup with that ???
so anyhu.....today was a day for me to push off..I think with 8 days left to the end of the year its a moment of reflection - look back at the year - achievements , downfalls , nonstarters - as Dennis would call them...I was not only reflecting on the year but in generall the last couple of weeks have been an emotional roller coaster for me in so many ways I cannot even describe in words...For one mum and Adi have been here for four months - at the beginning it seemed like such a long time but time went to so fast we had a such a grand time by the time they were leaving I think I begun experiencing withdrawal symptoms - haiya for real - no more mums food , Adisas sarcasm , just the joy and laughter of family...Secondly am leaving Lowell and more specifically Mary.Lowell has been my home for the two years that I have been in this country so I will somehow always call it my home in America and Mary has been more than a rommmate , but a friend a teacher a mentor and almost a mother to me in so many ways....so yes am moving to Salem - so I am a "tabula rosa" - blank slate - ready to write another chapter in my life.Its very exciting , nerve racking , but all in all am ready to grab the bull by the horns...but thats what life is about grabbing it by the horns - we cant let it get the better of us....My reasons for moving are many that I will not go into detail but I think everyone at some point in life reaches a turning point where decisions have to be made , actions have to be taken words have to be spoken to find your purpose and achieve certain things ..okay am getting carried away as usual....
So other than that - certain relationships in my life have been ...whats the word I can put there...can I say growing??advancing??getting deeper??confusing?? generally the lines / boundaries that I had with certain people are becoming blurred and the worst thing is I cant really explain what the expectations are or what the outcome will be so its a grey area in my life right now...and I really like seeing things either black or white..hopefully the whole thing will get done with as little heartbreak as possible - not a good feeling....
Yes so thats why my emotions feel like they have had a pass to the roller coaster at Six Flags....so today I drove to New Hampshire to my quiet coffee house to absorb myself in The Swallows Of Kabul - great book - I think am falling in love with Afghanistan.now thats a whole other story...so anyway the ambience of the place gets five stars the music is great not too many people actually no people at all I go there when I want to be me want to let go think straight and read a good book...so there was the sweetest couple that came in...so am deep in my book..from the corner of my eye i see a walker I did not even bother looking up but as they passed I saw it was a very old lady with her equally old husband by her side and he was helping her with the walker and he held her bag sat her down brought her coffee aaaggh i was almost in tears it was so sweet to see how the old guy still thought the world of his woman...Ok yeah bear with me...as I said I have been an emotional wreck...

The life I touch for good or ill will touch another life, and that in turn another, until who knows where the trembling stops or in what far place my touch will be felt.
Frederck Buechner

The Buck stops here.....

Okay so its one day to the elections and trust me things are getting nastier and nastier...the nominees from all the states are getting more and more desperate to outshine outdo outsmart and outvote each other....I was watching Sununu and Shaheen - they are running for New Hampshire and the ads are all all "We do not want more of the same George Bush" , Bush this Bush that Bush and taxes Bush and the war its all his fault....but you know the strange thing , I think its just human nature to want to put the blame on someone....Its so much easier to say I dint do it its all your fault...The proverbial kid that has just broken a glass...the first words that come to mind - "I dint do it.." So back to the politics - I think the whole dow dipping below negative , the credit crunch , fore closures etc what if I said Bush is not entirely to blame??I think this is a hole that America has dug herself into over the years...I am not trying to be cynical - far from it but for real as Rev Wright put it Americas chicken have come home to roost...this is in many aspects - from the credit lending - I mean how do you use and use and spend and spend money that is not yours....money that you will not be able to pay back at the end of the month??Open up anybodys wallet around here...so many creadit cards will fall out like bats out of hell...So many calls at the end of the month Hi am calling from Jack n Jill collection agency am calling about a debt...Hi am calling on behalf of ABC bank your loan is over due.....as much as America I can give credit as the hardest working nation.....(trust me people here work liek hell - a good 60 % of people are averaging two jobs) I have to say the whole living from pay check to paycheck has to stop here!!at the end of the month the money has gone to paying the car paying the TV paying the laptop everything is on credit...my mother always told me "do not live above your means"..so instead of blaming Bush - yes I do admit some of his descions have been off the radar - we need to sit back and say no the buck stops here this time...I cannot blame Bush for spending this credit card to the limit....yes I could blame him for the war in Iraq - but then again thats a whole historic Sunni Shiite battle that goes waaay back -but please guys...if we want the country to change the age old adage change begins at home has to apply....if you cannot afford to pay that monthly payement on that Rav 4 let it slide - get a cheap used honda for now and sit back and think how you can make money to get a new car later....so guys I have the busiest week coming up ...exams projects..and other odds and ends I need to tie up...
ok so next time I will be writing we will hae a new president....watch this space

Munch on this

Two Quotes I picked here and there :

Life is too short to wake up with regrets
So love the people who treat you right,
and forget about the ones who dont.
and beleive that everything happens for a reason.
If you get a chance, take it.
Nobody said that it would be easy,
they just promised that it would be worth it.

99 Balloons

Okay so I am yet to learn how to down load videos onto my blog ...so bear with me in the meantime and click this link...it will take you to a video I watched today of young Baby Elliot who was born with Trisomy 18...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qILw1iFzmIE ...Okay so today I will get all biological on you.Trisomy 18 is a genetic condition that affects the 18th gene.There are 23 pairs of human chromosomes. In Trisomy 18 (Edwards syndrome), there is an extra chromosome with the 18th pair. Like Trisomy 21 (Down syndrome), Trisomy 18 affects all systems of the body and causes distinct facial features. It is estimated to occur in 1 in 6,000-8,000 live births. Unfortunately, about 95% of fetuses die before birth, so the actual incidence of the disorder may be higher. Of those born, approximately 80% are females. Trisomy 18 affects individuals of all ethnic backgrounds.VST - (Ventricular Septal Defect - a hole between the lower chambers of the heart) , ASD (Atrial Septal Defect - a hole between the upper chambers of the heart), and coarctation of the aorta (a narrowing of the exit vessel from the heart), kidney abnormalities, omphalocele (a portion of the intestinal tract is located outside the stomach in a sac), esophageal atresia (the esophagus does not connect to the stomach, meaning the baby cannot eat by mouth), and polyhydramnios (excess amniotic fluid), clenched hands, choroid plexus cysts (a pocket of fluid on the brain that is not problematic in itself but may be a marker for Trisomy 18), rocker bottom feet, and delayed growth, micrognathia (small jaw), low-set ears, and a strawberry-shaped head, as well as severe developmental delays..Then there is also Trisomy 13 which is more severe as it occurs lower in the chromosome arrangement - affects chromosome 13...then there is Trisomy 23 - Downs Syndrome which is more common today I am being the Bio geek that I am....So the link is of Baby Elliot who lived for 99 days and he was such an inspiration to his parents during his funeral they released 99 ballons in the air.......I just thought I should share the conditions and this tiny piece of heaven - Baby elliot...

What If

Today I saw the most touching article I have seen in a minute....My friend Eric was preaching at his friends funerals sermon and his title was "What If"...these are some of the what ifs he posted
What if Forbes named me a millionare?• What if I was famous and Rich?• What if I lived in a big house and I drove a big car?• What if I was blond like Brittney Spears…who is no longer blonde but bald! Hehe!
So the point he was trying to put across was what if you died today would you go to heaven??On another different but related note I think what is driving my passion to write is that the official ten day countdown to the presidential elections begun today and the questions on everybodys minds are What if we get to see the next black president??What if Mc Cain wins?What if the votes are rigged?What if What if what if??
I think my friend is right..life is made up of what ifs..Ithink what if is a defining statement that can be a defining moment in ones life depending on the answer...What if you jumped off that cliff?What if you did not get that visa?What if you were born white?So in this regard...I think America and the world are at a great defining What If moment in history if the Democrats take home White hOuse on Nov 4th....If Obama wins as the first African American president...it not only is a victory on American turf but also victory that dates back to the days of the Civil War and Rosa Parks on the all white Alabama bus to Martin Luther to the Mau Mau freedom fighters in Kenya to Nelson Mandelas 27years in prison to the continous stigma thats associated with the black race....It will be victorius in the sense that the struggle for equality has paid off - that people wil realiza that we all belong to the human race and not just one particular race....that whether you are Black white Hispanic Caucasian you have no dominion over anybody ..that you can dream dreams and set out to accomplish them...and whether you win or loose the struggle must go on!!!So what if Obama does become president....what if he doesnt??

The Negro needs the white man to free him from his fears. The white man needs the Negro to free him from his guilt. -Martin Luther King, Jr.

down in the dumps.....

Okay so am in serious pain right now...my shoulders feel as though they are going to snap any moment now...my head is spinning...am sleepy and hungry...I am just in a general disorientated state I seriously cannot write anything of importance today but just vent.......I have an exam kesho for anthropolgy that I will see stars for sure I want to trade in my car...it is bringing me so much hell I got back a Psych exam I had an 85 thats a freaking B - yes I only strive for As .....aaaaaaaggggggghhhh am screaming...today is one of those days I just wish I had a cabin house in Colorado...get into a jacuzzi then curl up in front of the fire place have a real man by my side laughing and talking all night long then going to watch the sunrise..... I just want to be out there in the wild chasing the wind.....AM DOWN IN THE DUMPS...I NEED A PICK ME UPER!!!!!

Am Disgusted, saddenned, ashamed , stark raving mad!!!!!!

Today after a very long time I went to the Nation media website to see whats happening in good ol Kenya...Good ol indeed...the first article has driven me back to my blog - it seems I come here when I have so much emotion.....and yes I do....the title read "13 die as matatu and lorry collide" so I thought okay another grisly accident on Mombasa road or the ill fated Nakuru Naivasha "highway" as they call it!!!So I begin reading and the second paragraph made me do a double take...I quote no let me copy and paste for greater effect...Bodies of the passengers and their belongings were strewn all over the road when the Nation team arrived at the scene shortly after 5pm. The accident occurred at about 3pm near Berea Bible College, about 35km from Nakuru Town..Okay people maybe its just me or are you seeing something wrong...very wrong with that statement???!!!!The damn thing happened at 3 and two hours later the bodies are still lying all over the place...am jumping up and down in fury right now.Check out the story here..It makes me so upset the negligence of the system in Kenya or is it Africa as a whole My God the response is so delayed who knows in two hours how many lives would have been saved!!!!!!!!Aaaagh!!!And the worst thing is this is has been happening since I was young I knew "the black spot on the Nairobi Naivasha highway" and October 2008 am 22 years old and we are still singing the same song...On another silmilar but related note there was also an articlein the same paper titled
"Frustration of unanswered emergency calls."..The article begins...

It’s 8pm, and Naomi Mulia calls her office for help; she has just come across a boy’s body lying on a city street.
“What do I do?” Ms Mulia asks her colleague who is on night shift.
“Call the police — that’s a police case,” comes the reply.
She dials 999 but for 10 minutes, no one is picking it up. She gets upset, and looks left, then right to find out if anyone is watching. No one. She quietly leaves the scene.
“First, I dialled 999 and got the ‘number-doesn’t-exist’ tone. I was surprised and thought I pressed the wrong code,” she said later. “Then I recalled instructions on display in public booths: ‘In case of emergency, dial 0’. So I tried 0, but the line went silent.”

For petes sake am I over reacting for nothing or am I more upset coz my favourite aunt was a victim as well a month ago to a road accident....or maybe because my sister is a quadriplegic as well because of a road accident...or maybe my good friend Joans younger brother was knocked by a matatu when he was only 8 years old...or is it because Njeri lost her dad and sis at a go through a road accident...or maybe am plain mad at the negligence of the those in charge of maintaining law and order...Or maybe am not justified in comparing it to here in the States where you can call 911 if your head is paining and they will be there in 5 minutes tops.....Is it that life is more valuable here than it is developing countries???
No I refuse...I refuse to read these articles and go oh how sad...and do nothign about it...I refuse to watch innocent peoples lives taken away just beacus eof negligenc eon the part of the police....no no no no!!!!!!!!!
Here are some great quotes I picked from the OWYP online chat held on Sunday....aagh am still mad!!!

The more intensely we feel about an idea or a goal, the more assuredly the idea, buried deep in our subconscious, will direct us along the path to its fulfillment." -Earl Nightingale.

Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today...Teach a man to fish ; and you have fed him for a lifetime...

Through the window.....

Olympics 08 - medals or world class power??

Okay so the olympics concluded last weekend and boy oh boy dint China give the world a run for their money....China is telling the Western world we were down but we were not out and we are back...so the price tag was at 43 billion okay yes take a deep breath on that one...So as I was watching the games proceed I noticed that most of the matches being aired on nbc were either where an American was participating or a Chinese chap....so it got me thiking Olympic games have become more commerical and a show of prowess than ever...Look at it thiis way it all boils down to money / funding..Okay lets take for example a small weird country on the map with an even weirder name - say Uzbekistan...with a GDP that is slightly higher than what China used in the run up to the Olympics 55billion ..Then we take a look at China and US with GDPs of 10.7 and 13.3 TRILLION...okay so many figures to deal with..okay so the four year run up to the olympics...China and the US are able to train their teams as they have the resources and the manpower and more advanced equipement in sharp contrast to the Afghani football team that is warding off bombshells...
Then the other thing how it all boild down to money ..look at all the great runners of the Kenyan team who have defaulted and are runnign for European teams - Dutch, Qatar whyrun up those Rift Valley hills for peanuts instead of running for three times the amount and a better life for you and your family so it all boils down to money...
so back at the ranch - birds nest this time.....the U.S and China all throught the Olympics seemed to have been involved in this struggle for gold medals...and to me it looked like a rise as the more stronger world power..Yes alot alot of training and practice went into both teams and I applaud the efforts - Phelps breaking record after record..but my problem is so what about those little countries that have such promising athletes but do not get that in depth training due to lack of resources and equipment??
Okay my other problem with the Olympics so after the pomp and gay they usher in the paralympics.....okay so whats up with that picture...reminds me of the book "No feast for Kiungu"..something to do with a guy getting to the party waaay after it is done...so thats what i feel about the Paralympics as much as the initiative is great and the intentions are integrative I do not see why they should have a separate show AFTER the actual olympics...its kind of like a consolation prize so why doesnt IOC find a way of integrating the paralympics into the actual games...so anyway maybe its me just being me but i think there should be a better way of doing it....

Really Random...Really..Really...Random...

So today I spoke to my long lost best friend who I have not spoken to in like two years - Kabbz...it was a mixture of emotions and the funny thing is we were talking as though it was just yesterday that we last spoke......its so funny how things change they remain the same the first thing he told me is he was baking a cake and I went like - you still bake cakes - he used to bake the best cakes and no doubt I guess correct he was baking a vanilla cake at the time...so we did a lot of catching in the liitle fourteen minutes - his sister Kafoi has the preetiest baby his latest girlfriend is called Naitore - and I told him about my two heart breaks and his cute adopted brother Tony is confusin women now......yani there were times we could text each other all night long til credit kwishad or batteries died , lunch movie and pool dates at Sarit , nyam chom at Vision Plaza and all this gave me a deep nostalgic feeling of how I miss the simple life that I had then- when T mobile,National Grid and Salem State were not hounding me for money....But you know what ..the feeling lasted for only I think two minutes coz trust me I cannot imagine going back to that life after the rivers I have crossed and mountains climbed...as Faith Hill sings , "If I had to do it all again I wuldnt take away the pain coz it made me who I am.."
Then tody in church I re dedicated my life to the Lord - yes the full shabang I went infront and it was such a relieving experience my heart felt so light - or maybe I was wishful thinking - no but for real I asked God to re light the fire that once burnt bright for Him.
So this coming week is a big week - big thangs poopping Adi and Mum will be here kesho at a time like this...am broke as hell..yani am in th three digits - loer three digits - bordering on two digits but am not even worried - I dunno why stuff just has a way of working itself out...speaking of which I need to call Ritho he is taking me to the airport - he just doesnt knwo it yet he he he he!!!Then I am going to Salem State gosh I just hope it works out well - the way I was a great defaulter last semester!!
Okay so I am officialy out of vibe oh there is a greate quote I have just read..."Blessed are they that are cracked that they may let light in and it may shine through them.."It was from an organization that deals with people with spinal cord injuries...
Okay so let me head on out and begin my crazy week...adios amigos...

After all is said and done

First and foremost arent you loving the colour scheme going on with the matching attire and the font colour...yeah I border on O.C.D abit - like things done a particular way!!!Okay so I was a bad girl last nigHt but I have atoned for my sin with my best friend Dennis - went into his inbox - I was very bored and found an email that he and his fiancee were writing about the qualities that they are looking for in a husband and wife and its so sweet that both of them fulfill each others "requiremnts" as Dennis put it..

Then later on I am chatting with my friend Joan from work and she tells me you are so well rounded - good qualities in a wife and I tell her my goodness that is my biggest fear I love kids to the t and am so big on the whole family life settling down but on the other hand am so career driven and into fulfillment of personal ambition - which is very selfish ...but I think when you meet "the one" life and love have a way of readjusting themself in such a manner that your focus somehow re-aligns with Mrs. X or Mr. Y..

So last weekend was my good friend Veronicas wedding and I got to be a maid...I have the pics posted down here....very preety wedding Ver looked killer and Patrick sweet as usual..so right now they are honeymooning in Florida - made sure I got her lingerie and beach wear that will give Patrick and aneurism!!!

So anyway they were going to play the song that I am definately walking down the aisle to - whenever that will be...After all is said and done - Beyonce and Marc Antony..but they dint coz of this and that..so I have taken the liberty of copying the words below so I will revert back to them in the next ummm......years..

After all is said and Done - Beyonce Marc Antony.

Here I am, looking in the mirror

An open face, the pain erased

And now the sky is clearer

I can see the sun

Now that all, all is said and done,

[Marc]There you are

Always strong when I need you

You let me give And now I need, seriously and protected

With the one I will love After all is, all is said and done

[Beyonce (Marc)]I once believe that hearts were made to bleed(Inside I once believe that hearts were made to bleed, oh baby)

But now I'm not afraid to say[Beyonce & Marc]I need you, I need you so stay with me [Beyonce (Marc)]These precious (precious) hours (yeah)

Spend each hour in open arms And dream into, into tomorrow

[Beyonce & Marc]Where there's only loveAfter all is, all is said and done

[Beyonce]So here we are in the still of the moment Fear is gone, hope lives on[Beyonce & Marc]We found our happing ending

For there's only love And this sweet, sweet love After all is, all is said and done

The Dream Chasers...

Today I was driving to work and a feeling of nostaligia crept over me...I suddenly found myself at Monier 2000 - the indoor and outdoor advertsising company that I used to work for in Westi..and boy oh boy dint I have a grand time..I met such amazing people I learnt so much on the job in the 6months that I was there I learnt all the stages a billboard goes through before we see that Samsung phone on Waiyaki way ...all those Adopt - a - a light backlits..
But the thing that made me proud the most was the manner in which the people I worked with moved on after that to bigger and greater things in life...Sally went to work for Barclays bank , Jane started her own printing firm , Trizah relocated to the UK with her adorable daughter- speaking of which I think she is the one who made me nostalgic the most..I remembered one thing she told me as I was coming to the States - "Kababy - they used to call me the Monier baby - as you go to the States one thing I want you to do is "jinyime" you may want to drive that good car and wear that nice shoe but if you do not jinyima until you can afford to comfortably buy it your family will suffer and you are the one to help the family...go study and study and work and work some more until you can say okay I think I can buy that car '
So as I was saying yes so Rajiv my cute Indian boss started his one travel and tourism company - Savage paradise and did Imention how is daughter is the cutest thing - Anya.Then my partner in crime Farzana went on to become the HR manager at Glory driving school . Olive works at Stan Chart, Chacha went into travel and tourism and Mike North - he had big dream for Monier - too bad they did not really take off..he went to do photography.And me..well I knew from a long time that I wanted to come to the States and am studying something that will put me where I have always wanted - to be helping others....and it funny that everyone followed their dream - what they are passionate about...Mike was a managing director at Monier but reso0lved to photography ..Rajiv was head of sales and marketing but he just wasnt ticking...so its all about finding your niche...what are you so passionate about...that thing that makes you get up every morning and get going keep fighting..Its not enought to just settle for where you are..make sure you are where you have always wanted to be and the only person who can stop you is yourself....
so Monier 2000- kina Linah and Willie - they are passionate about graphic design and are still at Monier - providing quality artwork that has stood Monier the test of time with all the competition from upcoming advertsing agencies - the Ovidians and Magnate...Miss that place so much as it challenged me to be a better person.

Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do. - Pope John Paul xxxiii

The Ditch Diggers daughters

Okay so today is Sunday - my prime time for chiming in as Priscilla calls it...It has been a minute since I was last here I really have a busy life sometimes I ask for a few extra hours which I know shows lack of priorities yet again....So anyway I am reading a PHENOMENAL book its called the ditch diggers daughters - by Yvonne Thornton wait I forgot DR. Yvonne Thornton...she writes about growing up as a ditch diggers daughter in NJ when racism was the order of the day in a family of six girls who became succecsful physicians and enterprenures...
The story is so deep as their mum and dad were poor but they believed that their daughetrs would become doctors someday "with "scrippyscrappies" around their neck - stethoscopes.. which they did..I have some phrases that the dad used to tell them in order not to loose sight of the goal...they are the ish

"Men can get old..even when they are sixty ,women will lok at them ansd say Oh you are so mature..but you women, you only got a certain amount of time to make it and you got to act fast....."

"The way to get to an ultimate goal is to set intermediate goals along the way.."

"I want you to go to school with children who have goals or whose parents have goals for them ...that way you will get a head start.."

Women are stupid emotionally..you cant help it coz God made you that way.Women are to have kids and men are to run around..thats the natural order....in every hour theres about three seconds that you are weak..so you ahve to select when you are gonna be stupid.."

If you let other people hold low expectations for you or if you hold them for yourself , you will come to believe that is all you are capable of.But if you really set yourself to trying and keep going after higher and higher goals , there is no limit to what you can accomplish.."

"In order to take something from your child you got to replace it with something ."

"If your down you will come back up again just do not loose sight of your goal."
and the final one - my favourite...

"Women have the capacity to love anybody , but men are dogs.Its in their nature to run around.But if a man latches on to somebody he truly loves , if the sun rises and sets in that one woman , if she is all that he ever wants then he will stick by her

For real the book is mind blowing, inspirational , hard to put downer those books that make you want to get up and get going....this summer i have dedicated it to reading books that give me uh huh moments...My next read is a Child called "IT"...Priscilla reckons it will make me cry...Oh and I just finished Left to Tell - Discovering God amidst the Rwandan holocaust - Immaculee Biography..good stuff there but was slightly over done in the emphasis on thee spiritual part...

Oh from A thousand splendid suns which I had just finished- another good one from Khalled Hosseini the best quote, "A woman like a rock in a river bed - enduring without complaint-her grace not sullied but SHAPED by her circumstances..." aaagh punches in the air punches in the air....

Okay so am going to DC on Tuesday - I was selected as Project Ambassador 08 - 09 for One World Youth Project so we have a retreat / training this week and I have an exam for my anatomy class -oh did I tell you I am taking anatomy and the profeeor is the ish...he makes you see things from a whole new perspective he is so thorough you get to see why C is C because of B and B because of A....but yet againmaybe I just love Bio too much (geek squad)..Then there is a work in progrees that Adi and madthe are working on will keep you posted...

The Kite Runner

Oh Yes I forgot to mention this awesome book I am reading by Khalled Hosseini - the Kite Runner immigrant from Afghanistan when the governement was overthrown in the 70s...so he is writing about his days as a young boy in Kabul with his best friend before he was deported to the US.The laws that did not favour women , the lack of education etc..Today he is an MD in I think CA..so he shows the differnet paths his and his best friends lives took..and it is just so awesome to see how life changes for people...anyway the point of this was a quote that his mother told his sister one day...who is very succesful right now the mother was like , "Do not get used to cooking and cleaning coz thats what you will be doing for the rest of your life." The reason is today is Mothers Day and the men at the church were supposed to roast meat so mary tells me at the end of the service there was hush hush and confusion and eventually they find out nothing was prepared for them...I was so aggravated to hear this coz all the time it is the ladies of he church who are cooking cleaning when there are functions at the church so the least the men could do was for mothers day..and you know why? some African men are still caught in this mindset that a womans place is in the kitchen well honey you have another thing coming..Maybe thats y my relationships are short - lived as soon as we start role playing - you be in the kitchen I put my feet up I am like brother to the left!!!!!!! So ladies lets think outside that small box..yes I do admit there are points we feel oblidged to cook and clean but it shouldnt be such a stressful thing...let it come naturally....Robert Kyosaki in his Retire Rich Retire Young book semas something like do not expound so much energy in something you are not good at....channel your energy to perfect what you excel at.....so if you are not the best home maker....open those books and get crackalacking!!!!!!!!!!
okay through the window am so sleepy!

The Big Apple

Okay so Adisa got off her lazy behind and decided to send me the pics for the New York so here you have it...We had such a grand time it was so unplanned unexpected ....it was so awesome...April has been terribly hectic what with school exams finals gosh I am literally heaving a sigh of relief...but now guess what I am so free for the next four months no wait one month ..am taking a summer class inJune but hey its summer...think beach cookouts,the mall, spending time with friends,graduations,weddings,hanye...yes I am getting wasted this summer... speking of which I am a maid at a wediing an am so like not looking forward coz everyone is a size four...very depressing coz its only me Betty and Monnie who are size.......but hey will have funall the same...Then I am in the proces sof looking for a car...no fun no fin it is hectic for someone who doesnt know what is sijui a V6 i hear V8 just give me a plain white toyotta that moves!!!!!!!!these are the times I need me a man!!!!lol!!!!so it is one in the morning no school kesho yipee...but have a busy day all the same kesho....oh today was Mothers day called a few special ladies in my life I know that are mothers - I think its take real courage and sacrifice to be a mother so big ups to all mamas...tufungulieni barabara.... There is no way we can pay you back but the plan is to show you that we understand you are much appreciated..-Pac

March Madness from Baltimore to Manhattan with Love....

Okay so March was a very very crazy month......I literally did not have enough time to breathe...things happened oh so quickly and maybe me taking 5 classes and two full time jobs is not helping to the craziness...so yes where do I begin...oh oh oh...I was priveldged to welcome my mom and sister to America - yeah thats how wild things were.Yes they were visitors of the U.N ahem ahem but do we say.This was under Make Roads Safe Campaign - an international NGO that advocates for Raod safety.So there was ova bill that was to be presented to Bun Ki Mun - is that hsi name the sec gen?to make Road Safety a sustainable agenda as part of the U.Ns M.E.DS - wow I said that is one sntence without flinching - my days at EAMUN helped!!!! so Casey Marenge - exec director - chariots of destiny through the petition collection in Nairobi over the past weeks was invited to support the passing of the Bill - which it did!!!You can read more about the whole event on http://www.makeroadssafe.org/ okay so now to the juice...so we were randa randaring in Manhattan we were staying at Melbas - thank you darling!!!It was such an awesome experience - one of those things you would never imagine - strolling down the streets of Broadway..blog I tell you Broadway with the two rocks in my life.Three or four years ago this was just but a dream.....We went to the Appollo theatre - yes home of Chris Rock...in Harlem - yes Harlem!!!There is just something about Harlem it has so much culture and pride you feel so at home.For a moment there I thought I was strolling down Luthuli Ave.Oh then how can I forget my best friend who made it all possible - Denno you know I cant thank you enough but the love is there ile mbaya.Drove me all the way to New York... where others said it was impossible yes Denno said we will find a way so big props halafu took us round to Jersey and statue of Liberty it was just an awesome experience being with the people who matter the most in my life...But all I can say is it took hard work determination and a spirit of perserverance.I remember adi telling me the days they would go and be at the stands alone with madthewaiting for signatures when no volunteers turned up in the hot sun..But you know what...thats what faith is all about...believing in things we cannot see and having that assurance that nothing is ever a waste.For real there are times you think gosh what was all that what a wasted effort...trsut me nothing happens thats not in Gods bigger picture....So yes we had a great great week did so much dollar shopping stuff and Mc.Donalds was our best friend for the week oh oh and how can I forget the yellow Manhattan cabs - rock on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I do not have the pics as Adisa is still in jet lag.....fo rreal....But I do have the one for Baltimore.Oh yes we went to Baltimore and Delaware with Mary the week before...what a drive.....8 freaking hours but the company was fun...not excatly my age but fun all the same.....so here are a few pics of Baltimore with darling Gachenge where we stayed and the Kagwimas etc.....

Babies r us.....

Okay so where do I begin.March was one of those crazy cray months you barely have time to catch a breath or even a heartbeat...as in things happened oh so quickly that I have been overwhelmed so here I am back after a month of ups and more ups...So let me begin with Mary Annes baby shower.So Mercy and I threw Mary Anne a baby shower on what date was that...whatever...so anyway it went well close family and friends were there and by eleven it was done which is what I think real baby showers and weddings should be all about.Not all the media circus and pomp people here have turned them into.Inviting everyone from the chief to the D.C to the cobbler I mean a baby shower or wedding shoud be a time to celebrate with those who are special and dear to you so anyhu.....here are some of the pics from the shower.You can see Mary Anne and her huzzy Josephat.Mercy is the black beauty bald Mnet face of Africa then there is 6ft winnie and of course MC Denno hakosi...enjoy....