They want the same things we do

So there has been an ongoing separation of families at the Southern US border. This is as a follow up to the current administration zero tolerance policy as issued by AG Sessions in April. Basically jump the fence and we will come after you . But not just that we will separate you and your children to serve as a warning to your comrades in Honduras, Ecuador, Chile etc that we do not give a krap. We have to continue in the pursuit of making America great. You do the crime,  you do the time at all costs.
I remember it as though it were yesterday - September 1st 2006.On a warm Nairobi Friday night I left all I knew and hopped on a British Airways flight bound to Boston, MA. Carrying with me a suitcase full of winter clothes and $1000 that stood between me and homelessness.. I was coming to the land of the free and the home of the brave. I was coming to seek a better future for myself and my family that I knew I would not have had had I stayed. Flashback to three months ago - I was adding my name to the savings account. The teller asked me - are you still working as a receptionist? I froze for a moment. Wow when I had initially opened the account I was working as a receptionist. I took a minute to respond - in this country where even a minute of silence is deemed awkward. "Ma'm?" the teller called as she snapped me back to reality. "No I currently work as a nurse - actually a nurse practitioner." I replied.
You see a nurse practitioner in the US is classified as a health care provider. Basically practices at the same level as a doctor, physician assistant - write prescriptions, does diagnostic workups etc etc. So when she asked me that I had to take a moment and reflect at how America has opened door after door for me. I have had one stepping stone after the other that has allowed me to grow in my career. During my college days I was fortunate to receive awards and scholarships that enabled me to pay my way through college etc etc.America is a great country - a large country. And it is large enough for everyone to thrive and succeed.
My story is not unique to the immigrants who are coming across the border. If anything unlike me - they are literally fleeing for their lives safety. They want the exact same things we do - a better future and life for their children. So for me seeing the images of children being kept in cage like contraptions at the Southern border separated from their parents has been heart wrenching to say the least. Lets be honest - the strategy is a scare tactic to make a "we mean business" statement.
I get it - America has given out handouts to the world for too long. America has been "the granary of the world" for too long - I am sure you have seen the USAID bales of corn being distributed in various refugee camps across the globe. I get it - immigrants come and "take the jobs" they "cause crimes" I will just throw it in here that most times these same "immigrants" take on the most menial labor intense job - I mean harvesting crop in sunny California, working long hours in factories. All they want is that better future and hope for their children.

Lady liberty said it best
“Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

No road map in this life - lessons from my folks.

I remember turning 18. Fresh out of high school ready to take over the world. I remember even more vividly a conversation with my mum. The line that is forever etched in my memory,  "And Penny ujue hamna mashamba."  Verbatim to mean - you have no plots to inherit. So get working!!At the time I was like damn mama how mean is that - like you are seriously saying from here on its blood sweat and tears how now?? But looking back now I am forever grateful for my parents and how (knowingly or unknowingly) prepared me for life. One of the greatest lessons they taught me was they never ever taught me how to think. They never handed me a road map to life. All they did was put tools in my hand and made sure they set up an environment - both at school and at home where I felt my dreams were truly valid. I remember coming home one day I had dropped from number 3 to number 12. I was so so dissapointed. (Yup I was that geek - glasses, braces the works.) I remember the day so clearly - the report form was yellow in color emblazoned - St.Nicholas school - number 12 out of 36. I handed it to my dad. He opened it. I blinked back tears and looked away. He shouts, "Congratulations sweetheart - yes he called and still calls me sweetheart. Look how well you did in English. Next time pull up your socks in G.H.C and Art&Craft. What happened this time sweetheart?either way - I am proud of you." And that was that. And I knew there and then that I was loved.That my number in class did not validate who I was to my father. Because the truth is  - it is more important to save a child's soul than their report form.Some things are just that - things.While others are eternal. I remember when I would tell my mum about how I would open a hospital and I would call it "The Color Purple hospital.Everything would be purple even the sheets and towels." And she would validate that little girls dreams and say " Yes you will be a great doctor." Or how my dad would make sure he exposed us to " wazungus" growing up. He would introduce us to the guests - he was in the hotel industry - like here are my kids. My pride and joy. Living "abroad" now so many years later, I have no qualms holding my own in front of a "mzungu." Because my daddy reminded me that you are as educated (and as eloquent) as anyone. And besides as my sister says no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.I remember when I told my folks I wanted to "fly out" for college. My mum hustled with me every step of the way - tarmacking in Nairobi - waiting for email responses from the college admissions, hustling for bank statements, my dad hustling for air ticket fare. It was hectic but here is the thing - they did not go ahead clearing the path for me - handing me a road map. They provided the tools and the environment AFTER I told them what I wanted to do. Not the other way around. They did not impose their dreams or desires on me.That for me is the biggest lesson I would want to impart in my kids. Because while as parents we desire to make the path smooth, clear all the bushes ; that is actually doing the next generation a disservice. Because this world throws you so many curve balls. If you are not prepared to know how to dodge or catch the balls coz someone else has been doing it all your life, you are in for a rude awakening. So here is a toast to my folks and for not being the helicopter hovering over me type.

When enough is enough

Its 3pm - I am somewhere at work. I look at the TVs screen and see Breaking News - well everything nowadays is breaking news. 17 people shot and others wounded in high school in Florida. Another  mass shooting.Another day at the factory. The cycle begins - anti-gun rallies, mental health rallies, prayer vigils, and as usual crickets from the NRA. The White House releases a statement, " Now is not the time to discuss gun reform - we need to let the families heal." Wait a minute it was not the time either when 20 children between the ages of 5 and 10 were shot in Newtown, CT. But that was 5years ago. And still we wait to have the discussion.Then two days after the dust settles - business as usual. Counselling will be provided for students and their families at the school. The president will visit with the wounded at the hospital. Then we go back and wait. Wait for the next massacre and we start over.
Here is the thing. America has and continues to thrive on a NIBY culture. Not In My Back Yard.As long as those refugees are nowhere near me - c'est la vie - let me write the monthly giving check and move on. As long as that kid of color was not shot in my neighborhood - it was some riff raff city in SouthSide Chicago - does not happen around here. After all I drop my kids at school pick them up, heck they wear helmets and knee pads when they ride their bikes in our little gated community. But guess what ; that is exactly what those parents of the kids and teens who have been killed since Columbine thought they were doing right. Until they received the call to head over to the school IMMEDIATELY there has been a shooting. The worst call you can receive as a parent is from the police with as little information as "we cant give you any information over the phone you need to head over."
I have no idea when enough will be enough. Just this past year, women came out of the shadows and said time is up on sexual misconduct. You would think the killing of 6  and 7 year olds would be case enough to call bluff on mental illness as a copout for mass shootings. Again NIBY. Just last year, laws were rolled back that prohibited people with a mental health condition from purchasing a gun. You can fact check me here mental health gun law. Does this even make sense? Like you want to make it easier for someone with a mental health condition to purchase a gun.Tell me NRA campaign funding is not written all over this. I get it I get it. The 2nd Amendment yes yes right to bear arms and all that. I get it. The only thing that can stop a bad man with a gun is a good man with a gun - copy that. You must keep the family safe - I get that too. But what I do not get is why obtaining a gun license in this country - is almost as easy as obtaining a driving license. Yes I hear you 2nd amendment advocates - one is a right the other is a privilege. Ditto.
I wish rifle / gun owners would get this simple message. No one is trying to take away your guns. All that is being called for is stricter regulation on who can / should have access to them. Think about it - when you apply for a driving license you have to at least pass a drivers test of some kind. If you wear glasses you are required to disclose that and you are made to do some basic vision test. You are also to be of certain age. Its not for your safety its for the safety of others. Maybe its a power thing.I remember 80 year old patients at the nursing home - their last thing to give up - after putting up a fight was their driving license. This was of course after they rammed into cars in parking lots after thinking they were in drive and yet they were in reverse. Its not for your safety - its for the safety of others.

While yes this may be a "gun problem" we also need to acknowledge the fact that in the grand scheme of things this is also a "decayed society problem." Did you know that the US is one of THREE countries in the world that does not offer paid maternity leave. I had actually thought there were five countries but nope just three...She is competing for the bottom of the pack with two little countries - Papua New Guinea and Lesotho. Countries the size of a couple of states combined.And ask me why this is a problem. That mother child bonding in the early stages of life is so important. We flip the script and then consider the stay at home mum scenario. Because living standards have changed - gone are the days when one income was enough to guarantee you that picket fence.Now you have a father having to work for two paychecks coming home so exhausted finding disgruntled technology-addicted-teenagers.

 So I guess cue in mental illness. Everyone can agree we are raising a generation of over anxious, over stimulated borderline unhappy generation. Technology - which is here to stay has also not helped the situation.
So whats the solution - oh wait the president today suggested arm the teachers..Like ADD more guns to the school to "protect" the kids..Teachers are up in arms - no pun- and I do not blame them. I mean literally the sherriff assigned to the school sat outside hunched behind his car for FOUR whole minutes as the shooting unfolded. He literally froze. Like four minutes in a shoot out is like eternity. He has since resigned.So much for " the only thing that can stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun correct?" So guess what if a TRAINED sherriff waited and strategized (and maybe chickened out) tell me about a first grade teacher. Personally it is insulting for the president to offer such a suggestion - and in addition to dangle a carrot like oh we will add bonuses for whichever teacher goes for arms training. Like seriously teachers are in my opinion the lowest paid civil servants and yet they may be spending more time with our kids than we are.
I can ramble on and on but the bottom line is America's chicken have come home to roost. Its been a week since the shooting. This is school vacation week. I think of the parents who lost their children. Maybe they had planned a mini getaway or maybe there was a senior who had planned to go prom dress hunting with her mum this weekend. But now all that remains is their empty teenagers room just the way they left it that morning - maybe an unmade bed , a slice of pizza on the side from the previous night. Pictures on the wall of  Justin Timberlake. Flags all over the country are still flying at half mast,  outrage and protests continue but the sad reality is as the days unfold slowly the fire will die down as we await the next massacre.