Bravery

 It has been said that bravery lies in every heart, and someday it will be summoned. Never has it been more true than this year. Parents left 20 year careers at the drop of a hat to homeschool their struggling child, grandmothers watched from windows as their first grandchild came into the world, seniors received their diplomas on Zoom and yet, here we are. We can stand proud, weary but proud. That as humanity we will look back at this moment in time and say we did hard things. As the sun sets on 2020, a new story awaits to be told in 2021. Stories of courage, stories of hope and stories that remind us we are much stronger than we think

Dear Parents : why in-person learning and pandemic cannot co-exist

 Today my son was supposed to start kindergarten. He was all excited - well sort of. He knew he was going to "the big school." Enter in little sister. She was to start in the pre-school at their new "school" today. However, this past weekend I noticed little sniffles and a running nose. So since it is my day off work I told my husband okay well no biggie let us keep her home today and see how she does on Tuesday etc. So off to kinder my husband and son went. My husband calls me like twenty minutes later. I thought mmh that went well. "They will not take him." he said. I was like huh? Yes, because little sister has "cold like symptoms and the policy from the ministry states siblings cannot be permitted if one is unwell." So they came back home, my son not looking too bothered with the whole thing - just glad to be back home and playing with his remote controlled police car.  After about twenty minutes the director of the program calls me and while she was courteous, she gave me the "three options" for the safe return of our little girl back to pre-school. Option one - quarantine for 14 days and be symptom free before she can be admitted. Option 2 - get a letter from a doctor stating her symptoms are non-covid related and be symptom free for at least 24 hours before her return. Option 3 - return a negative covid swab test and be symptom free. In addition the return to school of my son hinged on her passing one of the above litmus tests. I have no objection with any of all this - it all makes sense as far as respiratory transmission etc. So here we are. Scrambling to figure out our work schedules for this week. We are in early September folks - the summer clothes have barely been put away. The leaves have not yet even started changing their hues to usher in the Fall. Flu shots have not yet been offered. I am generally a glass half full kind of person. I always see the donut and not the hole. But this. This is not going to be a walk in the park. Kids catch colds. Toddlers are constantly reaching for things to put in their mouths. I do not know how or who are the policy makers are but I do know we need new rules of engagement for in person interaction of kids and pandemic to co-exist. I guess as parents we are all grateful for some childcare being better than no childcare after the 6 months rodeo we have been on. The challenge I think comes in trying to get a routine in place then boom the rug is snatched from beneath you that you are left wondering is it worth it getting my hopes up. We have never learnt how to lower our expectations more than we have in this year however if there is one thing I know now more than ever; is that as humanity we can do hard things, we can pivot, we can adjust our sails because clearly we cannot change the winds.

Life PC - Precovid and what collective grief is doing to our psyche

The other day I was telling my husband what a bummer we will miss to see our three year old graduate from pre-school this May. I brushed it off but later thought wow there is a college grad somewhere who has to keep looking at their gown and cap hanging from the closet knowing they will not walk across the podium, there is a bride who just picked up her dress from the final fitting who has had to send out cancellation cards to the wedding that was 2 years in the making. I think of the Olympian who has been training for four years to qualify for the just postpone Olympics, the cancelled family trips to Disney and having to grieve the loss of a loved one yet the closest you had to spend time with them in their final moments was through a window. The list is endless - we may not all be infected by Covid-19 but we have all been affected by her wrath. The collective sense of grief is what we are feeling as humanity; from the monarchies in Spain to the slums of Soweto. Grief and Covid are like fraternal twins - their DNA is 100% match. Grief knows no age, no color, no status, no gender. This is the sense of loss we are feeling as we grasp on to our lives PC- pre-Covid. Kubler-Ross is known worldwide as the grief guru - she classified the various stages of grief and they speak so clearly to a time such as now when we are all in different stages of managing our individual and collective losses.. In broad terms she speaks of navigating your way through Denial-Anger-Depression-Bargain and Acceptance as the final stage. I remember when the virus was still simmering in China - I had the 'NIBY - Not in my backyard" attitude. I kept telling my husband that yes whatever, its over there it is contained it is nowhere near us, all will be fine and we will have something else to distract us soon (denial). What I can say is that during this time there is a pendulum swing between different stages - the key is trying to move along the course and recognizing where you are as an individual in the continuum. Putting a name to our feelings during this time will help us manage our feelings better and ultimately get to the acceptance stage - the ultimate goal of healing in the grief process. Reaching acceptance does not happen overnight - and no one expects this to happen instantly. We just need to be a little more compassionate with each other. Everyone's resilience armor is different - some people are able to weather storms and keep paddling the boat.Others are unable to even catch a breath when the boat starts rocking as they go into full panic mode easily. So whether you are the "just keep swimming" type or the 'I cant do this type" lets all be kind to one another, bear each others burden and I promise you we will get to dry land.