No road map in this life - lessons from my folks.

I remember turning 18. Fresh out of high school ready to take over the world. I remember even more vividly a conversation with my mum. The line that is forever etched in my memory,  "And Penny ujue hamna mashamba."  Verbatim to mean - you have no plots to inherit. So get working!!At the time I was like damn mama how mean is that - like you are seriously saying from here on its blood sweat and tears how now?? But looking back now I am forever grateful for my parents and how (knowingly or unknowingly) prepared me for life. One of the greatest lessons they taught me was they never ever taught me how to think. They never handed me a road map to life. All they did was put tools in my hand and made sure they set up an environment - both at school and at home where I felt my dreams were truly valid. I remember coming home one day I had dropped from number 3 to number 12. I was so so dissapointed. (Yup I was that geek - glasses, braces the works.) I remember the day so clearly - the report form was yellow in color emblazoned - St.Nicholas school - number 12 out of 36. I handed it to my dad. He opened it. I blinked back tears and looked away. He shouts, "Congratulations sweetheart - yes he called and still calls me sweetheart. Look how well you did in English. Next time pull up your socks in G.H.C and Art&Craft. What happened this time sweetheart?either way - I am proud of you." And that was that. And I knew there and then that I was loved.That my number in class did not validate who I was to my father. Because the truth is  - it is more important to save a child's soul than their report form.Some things are just that - things.While others are eternal. I remember when I would tell my mum about how I would open a hospital and I would call it "The Color Purple hospital.Everything would be purple even the sheets and towels." And she would validate that little girls dreams and say " Yes you will be a great doctor." Or how my dad would make sure he exposed us to " wazungus" growing up. He would introduce us to the guests - he was in the hotel industry - like here are my kids. My pride and joy. Living "abroad" now so many years later, I have no qualms holding my own in front of a "mzungu." Because my daddy reminded me that you are as educated (and as eloquent) as anyone. And besides as my sister says no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.I remember when I told my folks I wanted to "fly out" for college. My mum hustled with me every step of the way - tarmacking in Nairobi - waiting for email responses from the college admissions, hustling for bank statements, my dad hustling for air ticket fare. It was hectic but here is the thing - they did not go ahead clearing the path for me - handing me a road map. They provided the tools and the environment AFTER I told them what I wanted to do. Not the other way around. They did not impose their dreams or desires on me.That for me is the biggest lesson I would want to impart in my kids. Because while as parents we desire to make the path smooth, clear all the bushes ; that is actually doing the next generation a disservice. Because this world throws you so many curve balls. If you are not prepared to know how to dodge or catch the balls coz someone else has been doing it all your life, you are in for a rude awakening. So here is a toast to my folks and for not being the helicopter hovering over me type.