Lady Di

I only blog about my patients when they pull at my heartstrings - when they make me feel a certain kinda a way....Her name is (was) yup was Di.....I used to call her lady Di.. She called me Henny Penny. She had the deepest voice I have heard and every time I would go into her room we would have chocolate parties - yup I blame her for any extra pounds I have put on..Lady Di loved to watch Shark Tank she had a sharp mind even at her 80 + years and she was (for most part) a joy to hang around...Most of the staff claim she was bossy and arrogant and would even make people feel like maids at times but i enjoyed her sarcasm and bossy self - i mean heck she wore the pants in her marriage. She had the sweetest husband - and yes she bossed him around too - but it was a labor of love he always told me...They call it anhedonia - a loss in interest of things that once brought you joy and fullfilment...One month ago I think I noticed lady Di begun to experience signs of anhedonia..she would not want out come out for meals to socialize and would prefer to eat in her room She begun reading one book a week - trust me this woman read a book a day I kid you not - she became less bossy - almost nice by human standards - even her husband missed being bossed around...She stopped watching shark tank...and then is when I knew the end was in sight....Last week I worked a morning shift  - I never work a morning shift but for whatever reason - call it written in the stars call it fate i worked a morning shift...The nursing assistants came to ask me is Lady Di gone??and I was like huh oh heck no that woman aint going anywhere soon she is as strong as nails...The nurse who was workign with her this particular morning told me Lady Di is not doing too good.Before i went home after the shift my nurse instinct told me go check on her - trust me ask any nurse about "the instinct" you cant explain it....So I went in and immediately knew there was no chocolate party I would be having today and my instinct told me it may be the last time I would see her..Her husband was by her bedside he looked content and Lady Di looked so peaceful and serene. He called me Henney Penny looked me straight in the eye and said thank you with such firmness it was all he needed to say...I gave her a hug held her cold hand and in my head said rest well my friend....This past Friday was the beginning of the winter Olympics - story for another day - and Lady Di would have loved to watch it i know but I am glad she did not suffer pain - she went quickly and peacefully...I guess this is the hardest part of my job - sharing in a life to the point of death.Laughing with  a patient - treating their pain and sharing in their joy at the same time.....But listen to this, the weird coincidence the next time i worked on a different floor two days after lady Di passed away -  a patient i had never worked with -  I walk into her room and you will never believe she has chocolate in front of her and tells me - please welcome have as much chocolate as you want...I smiled to myself as i took a piece and said to myself rest well Lady Di rest well...;)

The only people who fear death are those with regrets  - Anonymous