My thirty before thirty ;)

So in a few weeks the year is coming to an end.....The year has been awesome - a rollercoaster of sorts...the highlight of my year has been walking down the aisle to a song I have replayed in my head since the first time I heard it... to meet my best friend and hubby at the end of an aisle to say I do -  for now and for always...But yes after years of friendship dating road trips we finally said I do and I keep saying what the heck were we waiting for...It has been a new journey - we have a little christmas tree that is ornament malnourished - but hey it is our first tree..little memories we are making in our little apartment...So as the year is coming to a close as always I like to push of step back exhale and take it all in - the accomplishments of the year, the fears,the joy and laughter, the struggles and look forward to the new year....And this year it has hit me - this is my last year in my 20s and you know me - I like to close things off with a bang - heck I had to sky dive before I got married ;)..So the last couple of weeks I have been fortunate to work at MGH Yawkey Center for Thoracic Cancers.I have sat with, held back tears and held hands with patients as they were told  that their cancer had spread and was not responding to chemo. I have laughed with them as they retold stories of days when they were active before "this thing" happened, but the toughest has been answering questions such as, "how long do I have left?" But being encouraged my those who tell me you know what Penny you have to enjoy each day coz you never know when "this thing " can hit you.....So this year will be a year of chasing the dream and not the competition, trying things that will challenge me, I will not be afraid to jump higher, run faster, love deeper. Because at the end of the day I will be more dissaponted by the things that I did not do than by the one I did...So first on my list is learning how to play an instrument...I have been contemplating between a violin and a saxophone and finally settled on the violin.The other day when I was taking the train into Boston there was the most beautiful violin player on the red - line...It was so good that one by one people stopped looking down on their cell phones and just stopped to listen.....It is just beautiful.Here is a song that sealed the deal for me today as well why I want the violin https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwsYvBYZcx4..So here goes to the violin and many other things to do in my thirty before thirty list ;)...Feels great to be back in teh blogosphere ;) Queen p

I have no title for this one

Wow so sometimes when I am at work I am awed by the amazing experiences I have with people from all walks of life...I am humbled how they are so respectful to me as the "charge nurse" that I sometimes feel like telling them guys relax keep calm its not that serious...No but seriously like yani what strikes me the most is that outside of work - after we have stripped out all the titles after our names, put down the stethoscope and the badges there is no nurse or nurse assistant there are just fathers, mothers - some single mothers who are just trying to get by...The other day one nursing assistant - and I am talking like white hair he is a daddy kind of old...he came with his camera to show me pictures of his three kids and his wife,,,He is like I am going to nursing school and working on getting a downpayement for a house so we can move in next year. Another one came with her camera to show me her daughter and how she is working hard for her to go to the best school. Today during training I sat near a lady Ms. X she also whipped out her phone and begun to show me pics from her vacation to Marthas Vineyard with her two sons - dad walked out on them after they arrived in the country from Peru. This lady is constantly working I tell you so she told me she saved up this past summer to take her boys for a vacay this past summer - I almost had tears in my eyes...So where was I going with this ..oooh so my point is what a humblign experience it is...anyway there is really no moral of this story I just had to put it down on paper...

Interesting quote that was said during the orientation,

We should look for someone to eat and drink with before looking for something to eat and drink 

 - Epicurus -

My 30 before 30

So I will be turning 30 soon....how soon is irrelevant its the what do I hope to do before then thats more relevant...Sooo in all my craziness the organizations Doctors without Borders sent out a plea for people to volunteer as nurses doctors etc to go to Liberia to help with the Ebola outbreak...Of course you know this would be my dream job so I randomly submitted an application - just for the heck of it...sadly I got a regret email - no surprises here but it was to the extent that they have filled the spots and in addition are looking for very specialized help - experience in tropical medicine...I was like what the heck??I thought I was a tropical health guru, speaking my fluent swahili and broken Spanish I thought would be a plus but I guess not (sigh)...So anyhu this got me thinking about 30 things I would want to have done by the time I am 30...I hae for the longets time always written down things - from resolutions heck I even wrote down the 10 things I was looking for in a man when I was right out of high school...and yes my hubby D is all of them and more...So here goes...

My 30 before 30 :

1.) Travel to Ireland and the Islands of Greece.
2.) Go skydiving - done!!!
3.) Go on a missions trip to a country with a broken health care system and help rebuild it.
4.)Succesfully complete a 5k Marathon.
5.)Be able to comfortably play an instrument - preferrably a violin or a saxophone - I love Jazz.
6.)Complete a Masters degree.
7.)Get married - done!!June 14th 2014!!What an honor to be married to my best friend. such a trip and what a riot great times ahead papi!
8.) Go to Golden Beach Hotel in Mombasa and house Number 11 in Lang'ata and relieve all our childhood memories.
9.) Have our first child - cant wait!!!
10.) Find our househelp growing up - her name is Tabbu from Mikindani in in Mombasa and tell her how awesome she is - well this may be a lifetime quest.
11.) Give a speech in front of a large group of people - done !!Commencement speech 2012!!
12.)Either cut my hair into a bob or do dreadlocks - one or the other somethings gotta gove with this mane.
13.)Help someone achieve a goal / dream they have always wanted - life coach kinda thing.
14.)Make my first million kshs...random lol not huge on money but hey would not be bad to check the bank  account and see six zeros..;)
15.) Be in a place I can comfortably work from home on the days I choose and decide the days I want to go in to the office, clinic, whatever it may be.
16.)Go for a live concert of either - Boys to men, John Legend, Beyonce Israel and the New Breed..
17.)See Cirque Du Soleil live - done!!!They are amazing!!
18.) Meet Paul Farmer shake his hand look him in the eye and tell him YOU ROCK!!!- he is my health mentor, guru this man rocks he is the 21st century Mahatma Ghandi in my opinion...founder o Partners in Health google him/them
19.) Backpack / hike in a few countries with nothing but the supplies on my back - so well this may have to be lifetime goal but heck
20.)Have a blog post critiqued by Biko Zulu - done!!To have one of the best Kenyan writers comment about your blog post - fabulous!! its like Joan Rivers saying something nasty about what you are wearing - means it was noticed!!
21.) Have a side hustle as a writer / contributor in an online magazine / publication anything!!I just love / want to write about anything/ everything  - health poverty travel anything!!!
22.)See the death of standardized tests such as SATs, NCLEX, GMAT, GRE, LSAT - they are just someone elses opinion of your capability...and how do you standardize knowledge??how does one lousy exam determine the kind of lawyer someone will be - just let the child enter law school.Oh and also on this I hope in the next few years there will be a rise in homeschooling - school and curriculums are overrated and too structured - why teach students only one way of learning - pass tests...its aggravating to hear someone ask, " Will this  be on the exam?" really??
23.)Take my parents for an all expenses paid vacation to Cape town - or anywhere with a relaxing beach or maybe a cruise - nah my father likes to walk around on land...
24.) Go for a book signing by Chimamanda Ngozi - awesome Nigerian writer.Oh while on this how about attend the premier of the movie Americanah and meet Lupita Nyongo and tell them both Girls you have broken the glass ceilings!!
25.)

through the lens of Kibera

My brother Jona has just sent me this video and even though I have three hours to sleep I could not help but watch it till the bitter end...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfW_r_4stqs

I hope you do not wait - Of Hospice, ALS and all things end of life

So today I stumbled upon this write up of a blog I follow of a lady who is living with ALS...You can follow her ALS journey here.....Below is a picture of her with her super supportive husband...

I’m glad I didn’t wait to make heartfelt toasts at meals.

I’m glad I didn’t wait to seize the moment with family and friends. Some of the best moments of my life happened with little time to plan.

I’m glad I didn’t wait to invite people to dinner that I didn’t know very well but wanted to know better.

I’m glad I didn’t wait to save and to be generous.

I’m glad I didn’t wait to be that annoying person with the camera.

I’m glad I didn’t wait to forgive.

I hope you don’t wait.

So yesterday at work I admitted a lady at work for hospice care. Basically she had come to slowly ease her transition into end of life...We literally sat on a table with her two daughters - who I remember had the most perfect teeth and the hospice nurse.So her daughters told us all about her - her most favorite things that she loved doing what she liked to be called and basically the hospice nurses continued to tell the daughters how we would continue to monitor her and administer Levsin - a medication given towards the end as her secretions got worse which the hopsice nurse I quote said, "though that will come much later," Today as I was home checking my work email - which after today I will stay away from - I see the woman I admitted passed away overnight...I was filled with shock, disbelief, like what the heck happened?? based on her admitting diagnosis I think two things may have happened either she had a brain herniation or an internal bleed or maybe just maybe her time had come early - for we know not the time or the hour..Either way I immediately begun thinking of her daughters - I remember them leaving last night saying, " Goodnight mum see you tommorrow." Did they have closure?Had they said all the Goodbyes and I love yous??Elizabeth Kubler Ross describes the stages of grief as going from Denial to Anger to Bargaining to Depression and finally Acceptance...I do not know at what stage her daughters were however I do hope that they look back at mums life with a sense of fulfilment...Kind of like she has run the race and finished the race as quoted from Timothy.

I know of another lady in Nairobi who was recently diagnosed stage four breast cancer that has mestastasized to her lungs. It has been heart wrenching to hear of the pain that she is enduring as Hospice care is not as specialized as it is in the Western world...Most of the care that is afforded in hospitals is really acute in nature so end of life care in the developing world leaves the healthcare staff with an  ok what are we supposed to do here???Anyway the long of the short in the last few weeks/ months I have realized how in a blink of an eye the equation of this thing called life can change - so it does not hurt to be the wind beneath someone elses wings, to be the the light to a dark world, to be the hope to another human , not be afraid to say I love you - Mother Teresa said it best - love until it hurts -  because tommorrow is not promised all we have are the moments that make up today... 

Pinchos - where all pictures have a back story ;)

Lol so the pinchos have a story of their own...so Dennz was so hungry one of the days i think we were downtown somwhere yani he was almost throwing a tantrum when I told him okay instead of getting a snack why dont we hold on a little longer we go eat a proper meal - which he came to thank me for later...Lakini after i said no to the Pinchas - which by the way are like small pieces of chicken on a stick like mshikaki type - heh dint Dennz have a fit lol - you know when this guy gets hungry all hell breaks loose so I had to take a pic of a Pinchos mobile kitchen which we laughed at after we had eaten a big plate of real food...

A day in Old San Juan

So Old San Juan was the old capital of Puerto Rico during Spanish rule - duh - old san juan...so we took a  trip there on Sunday the main itinerary - me and my itineraries for trips even to a New York Day trip I had an itinerary of arrival time what we would do and for how long lol of course it all ends up getting tossed out the window but trust me they help so anyhu the itinerary for Sunday was to go to a local church at 10 thirty then do Old San Juan in the afternoon however the long of the short we ended up leaving the hotel at noon and took a bus to Old San Juan which did i mention we waited for about an hour in 80 degree HUMID weather we had to grab a bottle of Fiji water at walgreens Exhibit A

So anyhu after an hour long wait the bus finally showed up the T5 and it took us almost half an hour to get there...our main destination was El Morro basically it was a fort built as a citadel yani bazookas the works -we actually watched a live demo - it was built to protect the city of San Juan and actually the whole of the Carribean at a time when Europe, North America were on a conquest for colonies etc etc ...that is a real condensed version but I think there is a deeper story to this and its history etc etc...but we were just awed by Old San Juan - the music can you imagine salsa, merengue, 24-7, the old roads, the people the food the little cafeteria line the streets all overooking the ocean and we were lucky to catch the annual cultural festival so there were artifacts from different artisans. We got to see a cruise ship that had docked at the harbor, there was even a mini "Trafalgar square" where you could feed the piegeons and of course we had to end our day at a Carribean restaurant and fianlly eat the famous mofongos which is basically mashed plantain so sweet and chicken wrapped in it with rice and beans yani the combo was so good and all the while listening to salsa music...

No Estacion!!

So Dennz and I  have come up with a private joke No Estacion which means is Spanish for no parking. So we are staying on the strip known as Isla Verde basically its on the beach just like the Vegas strip so there are so many hotels including where we are staying at the lovely Inter Continental that has been so good to us...lakini the parking we wacha tu...yani the first night we spent an hour looking for parking only to pay 20 dollars for the night however since then can you imagine we prayed for parking as in we closed our eyes and told God enyewe we are in need of parking for reals and can you imagine we have found parking everyday from all of our travels - oh yes on monday we went to El Yunque which is one of the only rainforests in Northern America can you imagine the splendor the canopies - of course there is a story here I will write in another blog - between the mosquito bites and me falling in a lake lol no surprises here -  like kutumbukiza kwa maji - yes so anyway back to the no Parking so anyway No Estacione aka no parking! But our little white car is so handy its like a ka handbag - perfect car for the islands see some pics below 

My own Kevin Costner ;)

So my amazing hubby and I finally took our long awaited honeymoon we are in Isla de el canto - The island of Enchantment aka Puerto Rico!!!We are in the main city San Juan at the Inter continental ...Today is day three of six and boy have we had a blast!!!Today we were taking a walk at sunset on the beach and i told him there is no one I would rather be experiencing this with than him...I tell you honeymoons are so important it has been a time of such intimacy, laughter, we have prayed together, hiked in a rainforest, walked down pebblestoned roads that line the city of old san juan and the most memorable played table football and I won declaring myself the football queen - rematch before we leave!!!But no on the real we have been so blessed beyond measure to have a time like this to just be in a room listening to the Coqui - small indegenous frog of Puerto rico that chirps at night...beautiful romantic moments we have shared but the one i will never forget was the first night we went out to Old San Juan - it was on Saturday night the streets were packed with night owls party animals we were just strolling the cobblestoen pavements looking for a place to have dinner that we had foind online El Patio was the name of the place...So we asked a police officer for dircetions and  he directed us down some path so innocent us took that path that seemed waay deserted than the rest it was a bit dark but we were like heh the cop knows whats up so as we were walking Dennis pulled me to cross the road and all the while he was silent - and if you know Dennis he is quiet mainly when he is hungry angry or thinking about something very major so we cross the road then he says lets cross here so as we do he says in a stern voice shoot that guy is following us as he turns to look behind...At this point my heart was racing i turn to look and see a guy in black from top to toe stop in his tracks and pretend to pick something off the ground and walk back up ...We start walking fast towards where the crowds were as Dennis says hand me your purse i put it in my back pocket...At this point I was like oh em gee lets get back to the hotel and Dennis is like what makes you special all these are tourists as well so we had our dinner as we recapped our near robbery or whatever heck the guy was trying and I went like damn D you really are my Kevin Costner damn making me fell all Whitney Houston saving our lives coz trust me I had no idea the guy was behind us and all Dennis said - they dont call me Ritho for nothing - Ritho means eye in Kikuyu apparently he had seen the guy earlier on behind us and had lengad but became suspicious when he crossed after we did twice. Yani I felt so safe with Dennz that night yani the last three days have been a reminder of the reasons we chose to say I do on June 14th 2014...this is the person you see laughing with crying with and coming back to puerto Rico with little minions as well...I love me my Kevin Costner so I called him Kev the rest of the night which made his head grow big cough cough...
Here are some pics from the Kevin Costner night lol

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright, I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more. I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive. I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger. I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting. I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess. 

Lady Di

I only blog about my patients when they pull at my heartstrings - when they make me feel a certain kinda a way....Her name is (was) yup was Di.....I used to call her lady Di.. She called me Henny Penny. She had the deepest voice I have heard and every time I would go into her room we would have chocolate parties - yup I blame her for any extra pounds I have put on..Lady Di loved to watch Shark Tank she had a sharp mind even at her 80 + years and she was (for most part) a joy to hang around...Most of the staff claim she was bossy and arrogant and would even make people feel like maids at times but i enjoyed her sarcasm and bossy self - i mean heck she wore the pants in her marriage. She had the sweetest husband - and yes she bossed him around too - but it was a labor of love he always told me...They call it anhedonia - a loss in interest of things that once brought you joy and fullfilment...One month ago I think I noticed lady Di begun to experience signs of anhedonia..she would not want out come out for meals to socialize and would prefer to eat in her room She begun reading one book a week - trust me this woman read a book a day I kid you not - she became less bossy - almost nice by human standards - even her husband missed being bossed around...She stopped watching shark tank...and then is when I knew the end was in sight....Last week I worked a morning shift  - I never work a morning shift but for whatever reason - call it written in the stars call it fate i worked a morning shift...The nursing assistants came to ask me is Lady Di gone??and I was like huh oh heck no that woman aint going anywhere soon she is as strong as nails...The nurse who was workign with her this particular morning told me Lady Di is not doing too good.Before i went home after the shift my nurse instinct told me go check on her - trust me ask any nurse about "the instinct" you cant explain it....So I went in and immediately knew there was no chocolate party I would be having today and my instinct told me it may be the last time I would see her..Her husband was by her bedside he looked content and Lady Di looked so peaceful and serene. He called me Henney Penny looked me straight in the eye and said thank you with such firmness it was all he needed to say...I gave her a hug held her cold hand and in my head said rest well my friend....This past Friday was the beginning of the winter Olympics - story for another day - and Lady Di would have loved to watch it i know but I am glad she did not suffer pain - she went quickly and peacefully...I guess this is the hardest part of my job - sharing in a life to the point of death.Laughing with  a patient - treating their pain and sharing in their joy at the same time.....But listen to this, the weird coincidence the next time i worked on a different floor two days after lady Di passed away -  a patient i had never worked with -  I walk into her room and you will never believe she has chocolate in front of her and tells me - please welcome have as much chocolate as you want...I smiled to myself as i took a piece and said to myself rest well Lady Di rest well...;)

The only people who fear death are those with regrets  - Anonymous

The Good life Project

This is what happens when I get snowed in - I remember I have a blog yipee!!! more to come tonight ....



Like this? Learn to build a better life at Good Life Project.

My passion project

There is so much hulla baloo about finding and doing work you love - work you can do and not expect to get paid...as Nike says you Just Do it *insert tick sign here*........So I have just remembered that I was not paid for a tutoring gig I did a few weeks ago...some guy who was studying for his licensure exam....I met him at Starbucks.Jonathan was his name.I dont know why I was drawn to helping him - usually I can tell in the unquiry emails how serious the students are.Maybe its coz he shares a name with my older brother who is such a gentle giant.Maybe he sounded so despearate maybe its coz he told me has a wife and three kids and would like to support his family better.Either way the first meeting we stood each other up we were at starbucks on different sides of the world and the phones were not going through..So we rescheduled - he told me I can charge him for that one hour that we failed to meet - which pays more per hour than my regular job...and I told him no way dude I am not here for your money I am here to help you reach your goal...so we met again...I walked him through as I do all my tutees my work is not to teach content I am essentially giving you confidence to pass the licensure exam...I tell all the tutees the general spill go with your instinct the first answer is always correct. I tell them to get a lot of rest the night before I tell them they know they stuff its just a standardized test - anotehr persons opinion of what you already know..well he gave me a 3.5 stars not the greatest but I dont really care about the ratings or the pay and I guess this what they mean when they say do work you love and it will work for you....I love being a career , scholarships, college advice, subject matter coach.I like seeing someone excel at something they thought they could not do...Sunday I get a call from a lady who had got my number from a friend - she was taking the board exam today after failing - actually she is the reason I am blogging I just texted her and have not heard back...she must be a wreck trust me the two days after you do yoru boards are filled with sleepless nights...I have been planning for today as though it was my own day - I wished her well yesterday and told her to get rest...so her no reply is a bit worrying we will find out in a day or two if she passed.But I think my point is I think if I really set my mind to it being a life/subject/college/career coach - I am yet to find one name for my title can be something I can do enjoy get paid if all this healthcare biz fails

addendum to note::
SHE PASSED SHE PASSED!!!I have been on a high this whole shift..yani she sent me the text and I was jumping for joy like a proud parent... I am so happy and to think that all I did was encourage her to bring out her A game stuff she already knew she had it in her...Gosh this is how our highs school teachers used to feel when we would get As in KCSE...you cant explain it..its a sense of accomplishemnt kind of thing

Martin Luther King must be turning in his grave...

I remember seeing the word sequester when I read on of the best John Grisham books of all times - Runaway Jury...I had no idea what it meant but it sounded like some secret undercover procedure that juries of high profile cases go through so their decision is not altered by outside sources.So basically you are locked in a tiny room - no cell phones no internet no access to social media and I think you are allowed a phone call a day from a family member - which is screeend and you are not to discuss the case processings at all.So anyway the last couple of weeks the jury that has been trying what some have called the "civil rights case of this decade" this has been between the state of Florida v George Zimmerman.The jury has been undergoing sequesteratiion and they just returned their verdict......I was walking into the gym at ten fifteen pm July 13th when in bold I see on the TV screens Zimmerman found not guilty of murder..My heart sunk to the ground I felt as though someone had punched me in the stomach...rushing to the the locker room I changed and found the nearest bike under the CNN screen.I looked around and everyone around me continued on their treadmill jamming to their Justin Bieber oblivious of the news whistling like just another day in paradise...So anyway as I listened my heart sunk lower and lower...the jury claimed they did not have enough evidence to find him guilt of the charges of manslaughter...I am not a legal guru  but as Shelmith says the plaintiff should have filed a lesser judge i.e first degree murder...I dont know all that stuff intent no intent bla bla bla bla but all I can say is it was a sad day in America for champions of the cause *fist in the air for the black power*....I went for the National slam two weeks ago - a good friend of mine from California was performing - shout out Da Poetry Lounge and my friend from Jersey who I went with after one of the poems on the rights (or lack thereof0 of black people stated wow they are so angry - this is not the America I live in...and I was a bit taken aback by her statement as I felt there was some level of indifference nonchalance shrug off the whole thing kind of attitude...I personally did not grow up knowing black from white however it would be against my interests to not feel strongly about the way young black men are treated (or mistreated) by the hand of the law..like I have blogged before I have two friends who were profiled a while back by the State police at college like literraly stopped by cops and asked incriminating questions about an incident just coz we were around the campus late at night.Liike really dude we are from the library??!!so anyway here are a few videos that speak more on this from Javon to watoto from the nile tribute to trayvon...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-Utk_g7y4A

and here  is one of the guys from the Cali team Da Poetry lounge http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9Wf8y_5Yn4

Just another day in the factory....

 So I have a patient...his name is D....I just found out two weeks ago D was a doctor way back when not medical doctor but doctor of something...D is dying. actively dying if I may say so...I also know Ds wife Lady S..so I met Lady S when D was fist admiited to the floor a few months ago...Lady S is always in to visit with D every day and everytime she comes to stand at my cart and give me a whole spill on how she has noticed something new on D - he seems to be jerking a lot today he seems to be clapping a lot today..."Side effects of the meds his on for the Parkinsons" I tell lady S tommorrow he comes in he seems to be happy today he is responding....and on and on we go day in day out...sometimes it gets annoying when she interrupts you in teh mdidle of a med pass but other times all she needs is someone to listen to her...So a few days ago D started declining and declining fast - bloody urine not eating temps in the 100s.I tell the aides the care they will give D the next few days will be the most important care they have ever given him in all the while he has been here,I tell them to go in there hold his hand talk to him tell him what they are doing before they turn him...so yesterday I picked up a double shift to stay through the night...just before lady S leaves for the night she whispers tommorrow is my birthday please dont tell anyone.I wish her a happy birthday as I give D a look in my head thinking...D you better not die on me and Lady S tonight on her birthday.She sings songs to D that they used to sing together she tells me how they used to hold hands as they sung the songs and danced - how he would always say her singing was beautiful even though she knows her voice has a missing cord or two - her face turns pink filled with so much fond memories..I turn away to blink away the tears and she leaves......So I keep checking on D through the night he is still there - temps still up the roof, periods of no breathing for a good two minutes which made me say okay this is it until I hear that deep snore again.... I stay with him a while wondering where his soul is - is he trying to make it through to his wifes birthday? he makes it through the night...I pray his wife will get to see him today...I leave and go home D made it to Lad S ninetieth birthday I wonder if he will be there when I get on shift tommorrow....like I said just another day in teh factory....

The moral test of a government is how it treats those in the dawn of life the infants and children, those in the twilight of life the elderly, and those in the shadows of life the sick teh needy and the handicapped - Hubert H Humphrey..

Addendum to note:

Soooo just as an addition to my little story up here...so remember Dr. D....well he died.I was in the middle of shift report and the chaplain comes into the room and says we need a nurse to pronounce.So we went in there with the morning nurse shut the door and immediately we saw him we knew he had gone.The beautiful part was his wife Lady S was right by his bedside as she had said she wanted to be when he passed away.The chaplaian told me they were singing all his favorite church hymns and the love songs they used to dance and sing to with the wife and as soon as they were done they looked at him and he was gone...he liyeally slipped into the after life in such peace with his wife by his side...and he waited until the day after her birthday wow this thing called life..

Of chasing the dream and not the competition

So I started writing this blog on Tuesday and then San Antonio and Miami happened and the rest is history if you have been following the NBA finals...So here I am a two days after - and yes Miami was crowned the champs...My gut feeling says there is some rigging of sorts going on here as far ticket sales are concerned...its all money driven...anyhu San Antonio played with hearts of champions went down fighting...So anyhu where was I oh yes so this summer my theme is "if not me who if not now when??"I am calling it the summer of doing something greater than self...sooo in exactly a wekk D and I will be competing in a five mile obstacle race - well its less than five miles but the obstacles are what make it challenging am talking mud pits some milimas and mabondes some fire stops - the full survivor reloaded...I have been (somewhat )training for this lol - today I went to the gym and was so surprised I biked for eight miles.I remembered the first day I was on the treadmill and could barely make half a mile without breaking into a sweat and now I can easily do two and a half miles mfululizo...which got me thinking about how important it is that your biggest competitor should be yourself.I was having this discussion with D who if you know is HIGHLY competitive - he competes with anyone / anything that is up for the challenge...t and I told him dont get so caught up in competing with other people your biggest competitor should be D.Coz here is the mistake we make when we try compete with other people - we set ourselves up to perform at their bar - why allow someone else to set the bar for you .I think its better and more effective to set your own bar and take incremental steps to reach your bar where you will raise it again...another of my to do list I joined Toastmasters club - yup this past Wed I went - running fashionably late as usual and joined a group of about 6 perfect strangers to perfect the art of public speaking and effective crowd communication.I loved the group so basically there are different ways meetings are run - each week there is a toastmaster who basically runs the show and each week everyone volunteers to give a speech from the booklet you receiev when you join..so like mine the first one will be The ice breaker da da da duuum yup basically talk about yourself - your growing up etc etc...then there were table talks which freaked me out so you go up there and talk about anything the faccilitator throws at you - from what will you last meal be before you die? to which is more important love or money? etc etc...I saw a quote somwhere He who tells the best story writes the future..I believe we are coming to a point in this global world where people are interested in hearign interesting stories on interesting things that will change the course of society and how we see life.That is a reason I love love Tedx the videos are inspiring , revolutionary I can go on and on...and theeeen the big bang I finally found sky diving fanatics - this has been something I have been putting off for three years now and finally I found like minded daredevils at work and we signed up for a jump ...now that is a story for another day but just watch this space...so in short back to my theme - chase the dream not the competition. In this life - be your own referee, make your own rules, be your own competitor, chart your own path...that way you are not constantly trying to beat someone elses record...I just thought of the gymnast Gabby Douglas  as I wrote that and now that I think about it I think I have blogged about this before.
so thats my little scoop for the day it may be redundant but there is power in redundancy..
In the words of  Ralph Waldo Emmerson,

Do not go where the path may lead instead go where there is no path and leave a trail..

How much can a city take?

So anyone who knows me knows I love children.There is such an innocence about them that is so disarming.They know nothing but peace in their hearts.They see the world in colour when we adults see it in black or white.So anyhu where was I was I going oh yes home of my favorite basketball team OKC - yeah lets go thunder!!! I love Durant I think all the team members have humble souls!I guess its from the city they play for -  Oklahoma.So today a little town in Oklahoma was flattened literally by a tornado weather men are calling it a EF5 - with wind gusts of 200mph - all jargon to me but sounds like it was quite a beast.But anyhu the storm the storm devastated an elementary and as I was watching CNN an hour ago the news flash was 46 third graders are still unaacounted for...My heart was wrenched out and then I remembered the OKC bombing and I thought to myself wow how much can a city take.I mean the Boston Bombings of last month brought us to our knees as a city with three deaths now 41 deaths - and these are the confirmed numbers...So I Google and see the 95  bombing ripped through a daycare and I found this pic of these precious little souls who passed away... I just think the city has had its fair share of heartache jamaneni they need a break.Speaking of which Obama has not had an easy time since his inauguration from North Korea being (nuclear) trigger happy to the Boston bombings to the Texas explosion to now this devastation in OKC...Earth activists and global warming champions will use this to push their agendas, religious fanatics will say the end times are upon us but I say we honker down and pray for the parents who are sleeping without hugging their little ones tonight.....

Musings from a "detached" Kenyan

So my sister winter always says I am  very "detached" from the Kenyan way of life the -  the music, the fashion - she saw how I used to dress to college and was like heh you cant even attempt such a dress code with campo chicks,the roads (read as Thika highway), the businesses (read as kina Rupu, soko kuu etc etc) and of course the politics...Well....the other day she was in hosi and she was so bored so I go like dont they have Wi Fi there you can have your laptop? and she goes like wifi? really? so yes (as I sheepishly admit) I am 6years removed from the Kenyan buzz but one thing that I and so many of my "detached" comrades in the diaspora have been following closely is the politics.For some reason or the  other politics seems to be that unifying topic that at least someone can throw in a  word or two over a cup of tea or Pbrs  as my friend Festus calls them.Even if its old news "you heard Saitoti passed away?" can spark of a conversation..Soooo where was I going...oh yes so my very "attached" sister emailed  me a link of the protests that were happening today outside parliament and immediately I went like wait whaat are those pigs with MPigs engraved on their back?and wait is that the gate of parliament.This was a replica of the Occupy movt that had swept the land of milk and honey(sic) two years ago..The only difference was (other than live piglets) there were cops with tear gas canisters and their tu sticks whats the English word for them - batons??For me the whole video almost saddened me as I envisioned an MP sitting in his office in Parliament sipping on a hot cup of Ketepa tea thinking what now can those hooligans go milk a cow (or pig in this case)...I know there has been uproar people saying it should have been done in a more better/ civilized way but I say hats off to you who woke up today knowing they would be marching down Harambee Avenue and maybe later on sleeping in a cell.There was a woman who was being hauled into a truck screaming, "Nipe filimbi yangu," in shot you can arrest me but you cannot silence me.Its quite noble to fight for a cause one believes in in this day and age -  coz I feel over the years society and life in general has made so many people loose their gusto to stand and be ready to almost die for a cause - let me quantify that - a cause worth dying for.Look at  men and women of yore -martyrs who were killed for refusing to denounce  Jesus Christ as savior,freedom fighters from South African apartheid to British Mau Mau, Waangari Maathai who would hug a tree so tight she would have to be chiseled out of it to prevent it from being cut down.So anyhu I digress as always I just feel as we celebrate 50 great years of independence this December lets applaud and not chastise (or throw tear gas at) those who will stand up and say hey that entertainment allowance and salary is a tad bit on the higher side Mr. MP.I voted you in to bring education to our constituency and not channel the funds to a little bank in Cayman Islands...Well then again maybe as my sister says I am just another "detached" Kenyan...All this made me remember this part in the movie Sarafina see video

Of my Erickson family

Yeah so here I am on a windy cold Friday night / Saturday morning in what the weather men are calling the Blizzard of 2013...On the 3rd floor at a nurses station watching the clock go tick tock with my hot water lemon and tea....Yup where else to spend a blizzard than at work.There is something Mary W always used to tell me lady you would rather be masaa with bad weather why sleep at home wacha pesa iingie..so I guess I have heeded her word...But this time I am glad I am at work.The reason is, I was hired by a company that takes care of both its staff and its residents alike.There must be some big wig at the top top who realizes that the work your employees give should not just be a reflection of their paycheck.And I can say with all honesty I love my organization not just for the paycheck - which may not be shabby altogether.Lets just say they had me at orientation.I cant even start to explain how I landed the job but the Director of Nursing was right when they said - they literally hand pick everyone who works here.Its not just another warm body to fill in a slot.The nurses and nursing aides are so awesome its such an amazing team .I actually have  two people interested in sky diving this summer so watch this space...So anyhu I am digressing as always....So there is this big hulabaloo about the snowstoorm blizzard it is bad out .Trust me it was almost disgusting to see people wiping the bread isles and milk isles dry at markets all in the name of the storm - and I can bet you that food will go to waste...please take it to the shelter or buy blankets and drop them off at the shelter instead.I digress again.....so anyhu what has happened at work is they made sure the staff leaving at three left early and they had been provided with lunch we got dinner and tommorrow we getting hot breakfast - sausages bacon etc etc..Okay its not just the food I am going at all the admin staff have stayed behind from the Director to assistant director of nursing, to my nurse manager who is literally sleeping in her office to the administrator to the Human Resource manager.Yani the administrator was helping shovel cars outside at eleven for the staff who REALLY had to drive out in these conditions...and wait it gets better they have opened up apartments in their independent living faccility - and these are nice apartments with a bed hot shower clean sheets for those who feel they cant drive in this weather and those like me who tommorrow mornign will be jelly...so I really applaud their work - its called the B culture around here.Because at B whether you have RN MSN MD JD JP after your name at the end of the day we are here for one purpose to serve the residents and be team players.I mean this is the ultimate show of team work.Again maybe its coz I also just came off working from a place where OMgee the word support was foreign I remember one night doing an admission of a patient - which takes forever doing the meds the treatments there was a discharge and I was so new right out of college and gosh everyone was just doing their own thing...But anyhu the long of the short I think the leaders at Brooksby are not just leaders by name but they are leaders by action.My nurse manager has a sign outside her door that reads A leader is one who knows the way goes the way and then shows others the way...so whats the moral of this little story - lead where you are...take time to respect and appreciate the people who work with you....ok back to looking at the snow pummel my window

Oh another quote on my managers door, " Before you speak THINK is it True is it Honest is it Inspiring is it Necessary is it Kind."

Django over Les Miserables

Oh my goodness so last night - I went to our downtown Cinema Salem I used to drive past this place and would smile coz its so tiny from outside that I would wonder really is there anything that really happens in there like big screen movies...But boy oh boy I had the time of my life last night - Les Misearables was not showing at AMC loews and the nearest place was you guessed it - Cinema Salem...So I forfeited my trip to the laundry - what a tough decision here lol - and trotted to Cinema Salem.I texted Ms J if she was interested but after no response it was me and my warm self and my Ketepa tea I was ready to put up a fight if he refused me in with it - it was 17 degrees by the time I was getting there...so anyhu long of the short I watched Les Miserables even after a little back and forth with Ms. winter between that and Django and omgeeee Les Miserables is oscar worthy. Yani the last movie I sat big screen for two and a half hours was Benjamin button.So anyhu I enter Cinema Salem and not quite the shocker it was just me and some other couple who sat three rows ahead of me.The girl even turned when I entered and shouted I hope you like it I am here for the second time to watch it....So after kiss kiss peck peck of watching the lovely couple infront of me the movie started - lol me and my lonesome self and cup of tea what a funny sight huh but I was so determined to watch the movie I had heard great stuff about it and sure enough it did not dissapoint. Well let me put this caveat I guess you have to love musicals - kina Rent sister act to really enjoy this.It was like theater had come alive on big screen the costume the set the music the vocals - Hugh Jackman nailed it -looking mighty fine, Anne Hathaway - darn you princess of Janovia!!! am telling you the singing is beautiful the script is stellar - you are transported to the world of the French Revolution, and the love story yani there was a time I was crying - well thats not surprising  I was weeping for the Help...So after two and a half hours of non-stop music I was like Django aint got nothing on this...So after the movie I met the ka girl in the bathroom ms. I-am-watching-it-for-the-second time and she was crying and I was like I feel you sista - white sista!So long of the short dont let the title fool you its beautiful its captivating the trailer did not do it justice and am glad Anne Hathaway got a golden globe for something...so here is the trailer for you to get a sense of  my excitement ....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IuEFm84s4oI

Back in the day buffet

If Jam a delic, Rustrut, KTN Niaje mean anything to you this video will make you smile http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Prlz9VRdJB8